âPartied too hard and fell asleep first.â
âWell, it could be worse. Your head could be covered in penises.â
âYeah, skulls are probably better.â
âProbably.â
Something about this guy makes me edgy, though I have no idea what it is. Maybe just the sheer size of him. Or this wiry energy he puts out, like a stick of dynamite waiting to be lit.
I donât really have time to ponder that, though. I need to get back inside and find a clipboard. Preferably attached to a person who can tell me what the hell Iâm supposed to do.
âNice hair, by the way,â he says. I feel flattened by his gaze, but itâs hard to tell if heâs mocking me or sincere. And then I get annoyed because heâs just some kid, and heâs got me feeling unbalanced.
âAnother late night decision,â I tell him. âBut at least I was sober for mine.â Which is mostly true.
His features shadow, and he stoops to pick up his cigarette butt and thrust it into his pocket. âYour loss.â
âNo doubt.â
We stand for a moment, this strange combative energy between us, like a wind thatâs blown up out of nowhere.
âOkay,â I tell him, after a few seconds of awkward silence. âIâll leave you to your lung polluting. Have a nice life.â
âOh, Iâll see you again real soon,â he tells me, and thereâs that grin again, only less flirtatious. Also less sincere. âYouâll be reading with me today.â
âWhat?â
âSurprise.â
âVery funny, but Iâm reading with Garrett Allen.â
âNope. Even funnier. Garrett had some kind of spa accident. Heâs got a crick, whatever the hell that is. Iâm his stand-in.â
Shit. An image of Christina being thrown into some random minivan flashes through my mind, and I want to cry.
âWell, okay then. Guessâ
. . .â
âIâllâ
. . .â
âsee you in there.â Yeah, buddy. Take that .
âLooking forward to it,â he says and fishes another cigarette out of his pocket. They donât seem to come from a pack. Instead, itâs like his pocketâs some weird dispensary of loose cigarettes.
I head back inside, and for a second I contemplate finding some way to lock him out of the building. Or dye my hair back to blond so he doesnât know itâs me. Then I remind myself that heâs just a kid. Heâs not making the big decisions. I donât have to worry about him.
Bethâs waiting for me right inside the door. Sheâs talking to Mia, who, hilariously, turns out to be the person with the clipboard.
âWell, shoot, where were you?â I ask.
Mia arches a brow. âIâve been here. Where did you go?â
âWrong turn,â I tell them and flop down onto the sofa. I wish I had my cello with me, though itâs probably not appropriate audition-wear. I just miss the weight of it against my legs, the feeling of knowing what to do with my hands.
âI got us checked in,â says Beth, who hands me pages. âWant to run these lines with me?â
âSure.â
âTurns out Garrett is down for the count,â she says, cheerily. âMaybe Iâll have a shot at this, after all.â
âOf course you will,â I tell her.
Now Iâm just not so sure about myself.
  Chapter 5  Â
Grey
I tâs eleven thirty by the time Brooks calls me into the studio. When I see the set inside the soundstageâa living room with a couch and chairs, lit up under bright lightsâmy stomach twists. In front of this, beyond the reach of the spotlights, is a table where I see my brother and a few people I donât recognizeâan audience of one row. That makes me even more nervous. Until I remember I donât give a shit.
âYou ready?â Brooks asks me, pushing floppy hair behind his ear.
Heâs amped up, eyes intent,