then, I realize, Iâve never seen her at an audition before.
Iâm nervous, too, but mostly because I donât want to make an ass of myself. And I really, really need a job. I donât want to go home to Kentucky to prop up my mom or fill in for my wandering dad.
Itâs a wonder I even became a musician, given the example he set. Rarely home. Rarely in touch. Maybe it had to do with the allure of it all, those glimpses Iâd get whenever Iâd tag along to a show, watch his sticks flash over the drums. Maybe it was the music that filled the house whenever he was around, telling me our family was whole againâat least for a while.
I donât know. I only know that whatever I do, Iâll never let it make me abandon the people I love. Iâll never make other people clean up my messes or take care of my responsibilities. Which is why Iâm here today.
âI think thereâs a gap over there by the window,â I say and start in the direction of a low tufted sofa with one free end. âYou can sit on my lap.â
We wind our way around the room. Beth seems to know half the girls here, and she stops every few feet to give out hugs. At this rate, it will be summer before we reach the damn couch.
âLook for someone with a clipboard,â Beth tells me, picking up on my frustration because sheâs spooky like that. âWe need to check in and get our pages.â
âOkay.â I look around but spot zero clipboards. I do see that what seemed like a homogenous mass of blondes has coalesced into something a little more diverse. A smattering of brunettes. Another couple of African-American girls. Even a redhead with a pierced septum and a trendy leather harness belt over a flowered dress.
Damn, someone else is gunning for my quirky minor character gig.
I decide to peek out into what I assume is a hallway and push through a heavy door that, instead, takes me outside onto a narrow gravel path running along the back of the building. Beyond is an expanse of brittle grass and scrub, which slopes up toward the highway where cars and trucks spew exhaust.
A younger guy, maybe eighteen or nineteen, whirls on me, throwing his arm behind his back like Iâve caught him with a baggie full of âshrooms or something. Heâs hunkyâas in substantial, tattooed and pierced, with a shaved head covered in some kind of crazy design.
Skulls, I realize. Weird.
âJesus Christ,â he says. âYou scared me.â He pulls a cigarette from behind his back and takes a drag before crushing it under his boot.
âSorry.â I keep the door wedged open behind me. Fanning away the smoke that wafts in my direction, I say, âI was just looking for someone with a clipboard.â
He spreads his hands and gives me a grin that Iâm sure makes panties spontaneously combust. âNo clipboards here.â
The dudeâs got large, rugged features but theyâre pretty somehow, tooâthick black eyebrows, a straight nose thatâs just a couple of degrees shy of perfect, and full lips with a sharp upper bow. I think about music, about how sometimes unexpected notes align to make a perfect sound. Itâs like that, somehow. Only with a face.
âYou one of the actresses?â
âSort of.â
âSort of?â
âI mean, yes. Iâm auditioning. You?â
He shrugs. âIndentured servant.â
âWow, I donât come across many of those anymore. How quaint.â
âYeah, thatâs me. Quaint.â
His eyes are an amazing light-filled blue-gray. Like no color Iâve ever seen. If he was older, heâd intimidate the hell out of me, with that body and those looks. Another few years, and heâs going to own the world.
âWhat happened to your head?â I ask. âA sign of your servitude?â
He gives an embarrassed grin and rubs his scalp like itâs covered in Braille and will provide an answer.