Look Away Silence Read Online Free Page A

that. It might have served Uriah Heep well, but it was all
too fussy for the coffee ceremonial.
    “I said, in an hour.”
    “You did, but . . . my watch stopped.”
    Now that seemed like a lie, or an excuse for
starting on a bad foot.
    “Well, I’m here now. I had a big sale at the end of
my shift.” Since we were lying, what the hell.
    “Another purple tie?” Matt asked.
    “No,” I said. “Yours was my biggest sale of the day.
Are you finished your coffee, already?”
    Matt sipped through the straw.
    “Actually,” he drawled. “I’ve had two cups and one
of these icy things.”
    “You’ll be pissing razor blades. I’ve had my quota
of coffee for the day, so I’m going to get one of those big fucking
chocolate chip cookies.”
    Matt hesitated, and then hopped over to the counter.
This gave me a chance to size him up from the back, something I
really didn’t get a chance to do earlier. I liked what I saw. I
just wished he wasn’t so fidgety. He tapped on the cookie counter,
and rocked on his feet. I felt like getting up and anchoring him. I
didn’t understand why he was so nervous. Surely, this wasn’t his
first time fishing in the mall for a beautiful trout like me. I
mean, this sort of thing is Gay Pick-up 1.1, taught in Miss Pearly
Bottoms fifth grade faggot class. I sighed thinking that I might
have picked up another loser. The fidgeting could be more than just
the coffee. I watched carefully to see if he scratched — a sure
sign of a heroin addict. I wasn’t going to hang around a druggie
tonight, especially at Christmas when the only dust should be
Tinkerbelle’s.
    He returned, cookie in hand, held out to me like a
votive candle. He smiled nervously. I grasped the chocolate chip
host and took it between my fingers. He stared at me, never
blinking. It made me nervous, so I broke the cookie and offered him
half, which he took, gobbling it in two bites. Hungry dude, and now
with an additional caffeine jolt, he might just bounce around the
mall. I ate my half more lady-like, not as Viv taught me, but as
Miss Julie Andrews would.
    Where to begin? We just couldn’t sit there over the
empty iced coffee cup and crumbs, and make google eyes at each
other. I reached into my conversation log, and not far from the
surface, mind you.
    “Matt,” I said, with a Cheshire grin, not beguiling,
but certainly breaking the ice. “Do you cruise the Mall often?”
    “Cruise?”
    “You know, search for human companionship.”
    “Never,” he said. “What kind of person do you think
I am? I’m not some easy guy starving for something better than a
cookie.”
    He sounded offended, but the truth was the truth. If
he weren’t cruising, then just what definition would he place upon
his conduct? It was cruising by every definition I knew, Miss
Pearly Bottoms and all that. I tried to rescue the comment.
    “Well, maybe you’re not easy. But you cruised me for
at least a half-hour, with all the skill of seasoned hunter. Then,
you came and babbled all that crap about never having done this
before.”
    “Well, I haven’t. I come to the Mall to shop.”
    “I bet you do.”
    “No, really,” he protested. “I’ve seen good looking
men in the mall before, but I never had an interest, or at least
the courage to further an acquaintance.”
    “Further an acquaintance?” I said. “I like that. I
really like the way you talk. What do you do? Are you into the
writing arts?”
    “No. Computers.”
    “Computers? Really?”
    I had little interest in computers. They were just a
toy you played Pac Man on, and I hadn’t the inclination.
However, I knew a money job when I heard one. They don’t want to
know ya, but take something away. How mercenary Viv had
inclined me. I shook my head hoping that her near-cat house morals
would flee to the parking lot.
    “I work at Axum Labs,” Matt continued. “I’m a
researcher. I also write code for PCs.”
    “PCs. I’d like to get one of those,” I lied. Where
would I put it?