Look Away Silence Read Online Free Page B

All those fucking wires would need dusting.
“They’re hot. My friend Russ has a Commodore. He’s got this flight
simulator game, he plays for hours.” When he wasn’t playing with
himself, that is.
    “I don’t write game code,” Matt said, as if I was
really carrying on an earnest conversation. “I’m mostly into
network research. You know — connectivity and packets.”
    “Packets? Sounds like interesting work. Have you
done it long?”
    “Since April. My folks moved up from Texas. My Dad’s
a civilian expert for the Air Force at Maguire.”
    “Military brat?”
    “Something like that. He’s been here a while. I
stayed back, finished my schooling and lived like any homeboy
should.”
    “Homeboy?”
    “Houston.”
    “I knew you were an urban cowboy. Do you ride those
mechanical bulls?”
    He swiped his hat off and laughed. I finally saw his
hair — a bit mussed from the cap, but jet-black, a mass of sexy
curls, a perfect accompaniment to his eyes. I decided then, he
could be mainlining silly putty, he would be my date for the
night.
    “Shoot! I’m no cowboy. I’m a homeboy, from the
Melrose.”
    “I thought you said, Houston.”
    “Melrose is in Houston. It’s the gay homeboy’s real
estate.”
    “The ghetto.”
    “You can call it that, if you want. Yes, call it
that.” He smiled. My heart dropped. He was speaking now, and it was
like listening to a sparkling quartet by Mozart.
    “So your dad got transferred to Jersey and you
followed.”
    “No. I stayed in Melrose for some time after he
left, but there was an opportunity to work at Axum Labs, so I came
up here. Work’s good — have my own place here, in town, and the
folks are close by — Mom, Dad and sister Mary.”
    Sounded like the holy family to me, especially
sister Mary. He had a full set and all I had was a manicurist
version of Cher, who called me shithead and was glad I
wasn’t under foot. I had heard enough. Any more information and I’d
puke. I wasn’t about to divulge my life history. He already knew
what I did for a living and where. ‘nuff said. However, I ventured
one additional query — just out of curiosity.
    “So you’re out to your family.”
    “Out?” He gave me a quizzical look as if I had been
speaking Turkish instead of Faggolish. “You mean, do they know I’m
a gay guy?”
    He said this with such bravado and so loudly, I
winced. I was out and about, but I didn’t want the whole State of
New Jersey to know it. One of these sweet shoppers might be
carrying a baseball bat or a Lugar. The days of I believe in
fairies hadn’t dawned yet, even in the great liberal
Northeast.
    “Shhh. Yes. No need to go on Public Radio about
it.”
    He lowered his head and his voice, almost to a
whisper.
    “They’ve known for an age, and they are mighty fine
with it.”
    Mighty fine? Wasn’t that a pudding?
    “Even sister Mary?”
    “Especially my sister. You see, if a homeboy doesn’t
have his family, he’s got nothing. When daddy moved away, I was
lost.”
    “You didn’t have a boyfriend?”
    Matt looked askance. I had hit a nerve. Didn’t mean
to do it, but he could have just as well asked if I had one, a
boyfriend that is, not a nerve. That wouldn’t have even broken a
nail.
    “I’m sorry,” I said. “I didn’t men to pry.”
    “That’s okay. I’m not just ready to talk about
it.”
    “So don’t.” I finished my cookie, and then farted
about looking for the next words out of Dodge. “So, what does a
homeboy do for fun on a cold, wintry night in New Jersey?”
    “Actually,” he said. “I haven’t had too much fun
since I’ve been here.”
    “How depressing. So you came to the mall looking for
an expert in matching ties to customer’s tastes and fancy.”
    “To a career boy,” Matt remarked.
    “Now, Mr. PC programmer, don’t you mock retail.” I
tried to mime his drawl. It sounded a bit like a Brooklyn knock-off
of Mae West. “Where else can you fart and fuss over Yves St Laurent
without