Too Many Crooks Spoil the Broth Read Online Free

to her companion. "She's too old!"
     
     
I straightened my back even more and led the way briskly down the back hall and up our unfortunately steep stairs. There is nothing quite like a jolt of adrenaline to rejuvenate this middle-aged body, and the Mss. McMahon and Parker were keeping me well supplied with energy.
     
     
Just as I thought, cousin Freni almost blew a gasket when I told her she had two vegetarians to cook for that evening.
     
     
Freni's temper functions just like a pressure cooker. The steam builds up slowly but steadily and, if unchecked, is liable to explode with dire consequences.
     
     
"I'm making chicken and dumplings and they can eat It or not.
     
     
"Chicken and dumplings is fine for the rest of us," I said soothingly. "But we need to think up some vegetable dishes for those two."
     
     
"There's carrots, onions, and celery in the chicken stock. If you like, I'll throw in a potato or two, even though that's not the right way to make dumplings. And there's pickled beets and eggs on the side."
     
     
I smiled encouragingly, despite the fact that I have been trying for years to convince Freni that eggs are not a vegetable.
     
     
"That's the spirit, Freni, but I'm afraid they're going to want their vegetables cooked outside of the chicken broth."
     
     
"Fine." But of course it wasn't. I could tell by the way the lines around Freni's mouth were beginning to disappear that the pressure was building. Foolishly I pressed just a little further. Trapped between Freni and Ms. Parker was not a comfortable place to be, but at least I knew what Freni's limitations were.
     
     
"What about fruit, Freni? Are we serving any fruit?"
     
     
"There's apple butter with the bread, and apple pie with cheese for dessert."
     
     
I'd long since given up trying to convince Freni that cheese was not a fruit. To Freni the hard-to-classify foods (for Freni that included eggs, grains, and dairy products) took on the category of the food with which they were commonly served. By logical extension, macaroni and cheese would be a fruit dish, something with which Freni would have no quarrel.
     
     
"And there's cream for the coffee!" added Freni triumphantly.
     
     
"How about serving some stewed fruit? Maybe a nice compote that you put away in September?"
     
     
Freni's lines began to disappear faster, and I knew I'd gone about as far as I dared.
     
     
"Anything else, Magdalena?"
     
     
I was about to say "no," when I remembered Ms. Parker's cold blue eyes staring at me through their pale red lashes. "I don't suppose any of that compote was put up without sugar?" I began to back out of the kitchen. "And could you bake up a batch of oat or whole grain bread?" I almost sprinted to the sitting room.
     
     
I had just gotten settled back down in my rocker when the next guest arrived. He was a very tall, skinny man, with an eggshell complexion, who was dressed from head to toe in blue denim. Even his shoes were denim. Although he looked frail, he almost beat me to the front desk. He was not carrying any suitcases, only a small backpack.
     
     
"Goot aftahnoon. Velcommen to zee PennDeutsch Inn."
     
     
"Raidstu Yiddish?"
     
     
I put a lid on the fake accent and opened the register. "You are Mr. - ?"
     
     
"Teitlebaum. Joel Teitlebaum. Ova."
     
     
"Magdalena Yoder. Mercury Comet."
     
     
"I mean that I eat eggs. But no fish or dairy products, of course."
     
     
"Of course. Meat?"
     
     
Joel Teitlebaum blanched and may even have swayed a little. "Of course not!"
     
     
I nodded. At least I had figured out on my own that we had another vegetarian on our hands. "Would you like the Amish
     
     
Lifestyle Package Option?" I asked bravely. These were not the kinds of guests I was used to.
     
     
"Yes, I would." I smiled in relief. "You'll find the broom, dustpan, and dust cloth in your room closet. So are the bathroom supplies. Rooms must be cleaned and beds made before breakfast. You do want three meals a day,