Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck Read Online Free Page A

Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck
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oats, seeds, nuts, and millet in a large bowl.
    3 In a medium glass, stir together the maple syrup, oil, and vanilla. Pour this all over the oat mixture and stir that shit around until everything looks coated. Add the cinnamon and the salt and stir.
    4 Pour all of this evenly over that baking sheet and stick it in the oven for 40 minutes. Stir it every 10 minutes so that it cooks evenly. You’ll know this shit is done when everything looks kinda toasted and the oats feel crispy instead of damp. Stir in the dried fruit now if you’re using any. Let that all cool on the baking sheet and then store it in an airtight container for up to 2 weeks.
    5 Want to mix it up? Try these nut and fruit combos: almonds and chopped, dried apricots or strawberries; walnuts and dried pears or figs; pecans and dried cherries; peanuts and dried apples or bananas. Just use whateverthefuck sounds good to you.
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Basically, 1 cup of whatever nuts you prefer
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No millet? Fuck it, just add more oats
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Legit syrup can get kinda fucking expensive. But so can granola. Save up for the good shit
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Or use any dried fruit you like
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BREAKFAST GREENS
    This single-pan side has everything your sleepy ass needs in the morning. This goes great with Biscuits and Gravy if you’ve got some fucking time.
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 2 TO 4 AS A SIDE
    ¼ cup vegetable broth
    1½ teaspoons maple syrup or agave syrup
    1 teaspoon tomato paste
    1 teaspoon liquid smoke*
    2 teaspoons soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg’s Liquid Aminos
    2 teaspoons olive or grapeseed oil
    8 ounces tempeh
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    1½ teaspoons of your favorite no-salt, all-purpose seasoning blend
    1 bunch kale, cut into 2-inch strips (about 7 cups)
    2 tablespoons lemon juice
    1 In a small glass, mix together the broth, maple syrup, tomato paste, liquid smoke, and 1 teaspoon of the soy sauce and set that shit aside.
    2 Heat the oil in a big wok or skillet over medium heat. Crumble in the tempeh in bite-size pieces and sauté it around until it starts to brown in some places, 2 to 3 minutes. Now pour that broth mixture all over and let it cook for about 15 seconds. Add the garlic and seasoning blend and cook for another 30 seconds. Almost done.
    3 Now we get to the greens. Pile those motherfuckers on top of the tempeh, pour in the lemon juice and remaining 1 teaspoon soy sauce, and stir everything around with the tempeh. It will look like too much kale but respect the process, damn. Let the kale cook down for about a minute or two—you want it nice and wilted, not cooked to death. Serve right away.



TOFU SCRAMBLE TACOS
    Serve with avocados, fresh cilantro, and your favorite salsa. Fuck yeah.
    MAKES ABOUT 8 TACOS
    1 small crown broccoli
    1 red bell pepper
    1 yellow onion
    1 carrot
    4 cloves garlic
    1 to 2 jalapeños*
    1 tablespoon ground cumin
    1 tablespoon chili powder
    2 teaspoons dried oregano
    2 teaspoons olive oil
    1 block extra-firm tofu
    2 to 3 teaspoons soy sauce, tamari, or Bragg’s
    2 tablespoons lemon or lime juice
    1 ⁄ 3 cup nutritional yeast**
    2 teaspoons of your favorite hot sauce
    8 corn or flour tortillas, warmed
    1 Chop up the broccoli into pieces no larger than a nickel, aiming for about 2 cups. Dice the bell pepper and onion into pea-size pieces. Shred the carrot on that box grater you think you bought a while back. Mince the garlic and jalapeño. In a small bowl, mix together the cumin, chili powder, and oregano and set that shit aside. PREP WORK, MOTHERFUCKER.
    2 Now it’s time to cook. In a large skillet, heat the oil over medium heat. Add the onion and cook until it starts to look golden around the edges, 3 to 5 minutes. Now add the chopped broccoli and bell pepper and cook until the broccoli starts to get tender but isn’t all fucking limp, another 3 to 4 minutes. Don’t overcook this shit or your broccoli will taste like little soggy trees. Now add the garlic and jalapeño and sauté for about 30 seconds.
    3 While that shit is going on, drain the tofu and
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