Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck Read Online Free Page B

squeeze out as much water as possible. (You can just use your hands; no need to press this bastard.) Now crumble that tofu into the pan in quarter-size chunks. Some small bits are cool but the more you stir it, the more shit is going to break down, so its better to start bigger and work to smaller, you know? Sauté that tofu around with the veggies for 2 to 3 minutes and try to get it all mixed in. If the pan starts looking dry, add a splash of water and move the fuck on. Add the soy sauce and lemon/lime juice all over the pan. Add the spice blend, shredded carrot, and nutritional yeast right after and stir those fuckers in. Let this all cook together for about 2 minutes so that the flavors blend. Top with the hot sauce, stir, and then pile the filling into your waiting tortillas. Breakfast is served, bitches.
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Whatever heat you can handle. Remove the seeds for less heat
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    WEIRD FUCKING INGREDIENTS
    NOOCH
    Nutritional yeast, or
nooch
if you are in the know, is some level 7 hippie shit. It’s deactivated yeast sold in flakes that makes everything taste kinda cheesy. It’s like healthy Cheeto dust. The future is now, people. It’s packed with B12, folic acid, selenium, zinc, and some protein. You can find it in bulk bins at some grocery stores and on the fucking Internet. It is not the same thing as brewer’s yeast, and anybody who tells you otherwise is a goddamn liar.
    BRAGG’S LIQUID AMINOS
    You can usually find this old-school sauce near the vinegars or soy sauces in the healthy eating section of most big grocery stores and on the Internet. Obvs. It tastes a lot like soy sauce but with a little something extra. If you can’t find it, just sub with soy sauce or tamari.
    LIQUID SMOKE
    This flavor enhancer is made by collecting the smoke from wood chips, letting it cool, and adding some water. It adds a fuckton of flavor, but a little goes a long way. Don’t overdo it. It is near the BBQ sauce at the store, we swear. You haven’t even looked yet so stop fucking complaining.
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BROWN RICE BOWL WITH EDAMAME AND TAMARI SCALLION SAUCE
    Savory food for breakfast is the shit and more people need to hop on board. This basic breakfast bowl is habit-forming, so watch the fuck out. The brown rice is super filling and the edamame brings plenty of protein to the table, so you’ll feel like a fucking champ.
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 4 TO 6
    TAMARI SCALLION SAUCE
    1 cup sliced green onions*
    ¼ cup rice vinegar
    2 tablespoons orange juice
    4 teaspoons toasted sesame oil
    1 teaspoon tamari or soy sauce
    Basic Big Pot of Brown Rice
    4 cups shelled edamame**
    1 ⁄ 3 cup sliced almonds, toasted (optional)
    1 Make the sauce: Throw everything into a food processor or blender and let it run until the sauce looks sorta smooth. You should get about 2 ⁄ 3 cup of sauce.
    2 To assemble the bowl, spoon equal parts brown rice and edamame into a bowl and drizzle a tablespoon or two of sauce all over it. If you aren’t super hungry in the mornings, ½ cup of each should do you. If you want some added crunch, sprinkle some sliced almonds over the top. You can make this shit all on Sunday night and then just heat it up all week for breakfast.
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Green onions, scallions . . . they’re the same damn thing. “Scallion” just sounds more legit next to the word “sauce.”
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Edamame are immature soybeans and are tasty as fuck. They have a great texture and are full of good shit like protein, fatty acids, and tons of fiber. Find them in the frozen veggie section at the store and keep your freezer full
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MAKE YOUR OWN PANCAKE MIX
    Don’t want to measure out a bunch of shit every time you make pancakes? We get that. But don’t go out buying that overpriced, sugar-filled boxed bullshit. Just take a couple minutes and make a big batch for yourself and keep it in your pantry for the next time you’re jonesing for flapjacks.
    This is going to require some basic math, so hold tight. From the Whole Wheat Banana Pancake recipe (opposite), we know that 1