Thug Kitchen: The Official Cookbook: Eat Like You Give a F*ck Read Online Free

2 minutes. Add the quinoa and the hot water and bring it all to a boil. This won’t take long because the water should already be hot as fuck.
    3 Once it is boiling, turn down the heat on the pot and let it simmer uncovered. Go check your tumblr or Facebook shit while it cooks for 25 to 30 minutes. It should taste done now, not hard but still a little chewy. Add the almond milk and turn off the heat.
    4 Love to hit snooze? Double the recipe and heat up the leftovers all week.



MIXED VEGGIE AND TOFU CHILAQUILES
    This dish makes for a hearty breakfast the morning after a big party. If your head is still pounding and your stomach is grumbling, chilaquiles will set your ass straight.
    MAKES ENOUGH FOR 4 TO 6
    12 corn tortillas
    2 teaspoons olive oil
    1 block medium-firm tofu*
    2 teaspoons soy sauce or tamari
    1 teaspoon garlic powder
    ¼ cup nutritional yeast (“ nooch ”)
    ½ medium onion, chopped
    1 red, orange, or green bell pepper, chopped
    1 to 2 jalapeños, chopped
    2 cloves garlic, minced
    2 to 3 cups fresh spinach
    2½ cups salsa verde**
    ¼ cup vegetable broth or water
    Toppings: avocado, cilantro, jalapeños, pico de gallo
    1 Crank your oven to 400°F. Cut your tortillas up into 8 wedges, like a motherfucking pizza. Spread the wedges out on a baking sheet and throw them in the oven for 15 to 20 minutes to dry out. Stir them around halfway through. It’s fine if they start to get hard in some spots but don’t let them fucking burn.
    2 While the tortillas get crispy, grab a big skillet and do the damn thing. Heat up 1 teaspoon of the oil over a medium heat and crumble in the tofu. It might be a little watery, but don’t worry about that shit. Think runny scrambled eggs. Stir in the soy sauce and garlic powder and let it all cook together until some of that water cooks off, about 2 minutes. Stir in the nooch, turn off the heat, and pour the tofu into a bowl. Wipe the skillet down and throw that motherfucker right back on the stove cause we ain’t done yet.
    3 Heat up that second teaspoon of oil over medium heat. Throw in the onion, bell pepper, and jalapeños and sauté until the onion starts to look a little brown, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic and spinach and cook for 30 seconds more.
    4 The baked tortillas should be done now, so throw about half of them in with the veggies in the skillet. Add 1 cup of the salsa and 2 tablespoons of the broth and mix all of that together. Add half of the tofu over the whole skillet and then layer on the rest of the tortillas. Top with the rest of the tofu, salsa, and broth and gently stir it around to make sure the layers are coated. A dry bite of chilaquiles can be a fucking bummer, so pay attention. Let this all simmer together for about 5 minutes so that the tortillas soften up and the liquid evaporates. The dope smell of cooking this will drag even the laziest motherfucker out of bed. Believe that shit.
    5 Serve right away topped with sliced avocado, a sprinkle of cilantro, more jalapeños, and pico de gallo. Don’t share until someone else promises to wash the goddamn dishes.
    *
You want the kind packed in water that is sold in the fridge at the store, so make sure to drain that shit before you start cooking
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    **
See this page for a recipe, or you could buy that shit if you are feeling super lazy
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BASIC MAPLE GRANOLA WITH ADD-IN IDEAS
    Most store-bought granola is more sugar than oats. Why not just buy a jar of sprinkles for your breakfast and save yourself the trouble? If you want sweetness with some bulk behind it, make this granola and see what the fuck you’ve been missing.
    MAKES A LITTLE MORE THAN 5 CUPS
    3 cups rolled oats
    ½ cup sunflower seeds*
    ½ cup chopped almonds*
    ¼ cup uncooked millet**
    ½ cup maple syrup***
    1 ⁄ 3 cup olive oil
    ½ teaspoon vanilla extract
    ½ teaspoon ground cinnamon
    ½ teaspoon salt
    ½ cup dried cranberries **** (optional)
    1 Heat your oven to 300°F. Line a rimmed baking sheet with some parchment paper.
    2 Mix together the