The New Bottoming Book Read Online Free

will serve your purpose. Don't worry about which ritual is "correct," but look for the rituals that work for you.

    We have both found that experience has enabled us to explore more deeply and profoundly, playing roles that involve going down into very primitive parts of ourselves. The deeper the play, the more risky - and rewarding - it can be.

    In its finest form, S/M is a form of psychodrama with tremendous possibilities for self-knowledge and transformation, which is why some players say that S and M stand for sex magic. We must remember that this is a very powerful form of magic, worthy of our greatest respect.

    Somewhere between fantasy and reality lies the full-power bottom's role in S/M. When we give up our power, we feel more powerful. When we give up control, we feel freer. We encourage you to bring your full power and all your greedy, nasty, raunchy, intense and horny lust to your play, u ntil you pull up enough energy to devour the planet.

Staying Safe and Happy

    Before we launch you into the nitty-gritty of how to be the bottom of your (and everyone else's) dreams, we want to do a quick checkin to make sure you know some of the basic ideas and skills you'll need to stay physically and emotionally safe while you follow the advice in the rest of this book. If you're an experienced bottom, much of this material may already be familiar to you, but the fundamentals always bear repeating - so here goes.

    know Thyself. Before you can communicate your desires to a partner, its a good idea to know them yourself -not always easy when your head is full of a tangle of fantasies, beliefs and rumors about romance and sex and BDSM.

    One of our favorite exercises to help straighten out the tangle is called "Yes/No/Maybe" - sex educators everywhere use it as a way to get people thinking and talking about their sexual needs and desires. You can do it by yourself, with a partner, or even with a group of friends.

    We commonly do this exercise in groups or workshops to help people discover their desires and their limits. First, take a big piece of paper and make a list of all the sexual and BDSM activities you can think of, including those that you would not choose yourself.

    Prefabricated lists now can be found in books and on the Internet... and we still recommend you make your own. Pay attention to how it feels to speak the words for forbidden and exciting acts of pleasure.

    After you finish making the big list of all possible activities, take a regular piece of paper and mark three columns: YES, NO and MAYBE. In the YES column write all the items that you know you already like or clearly want to try. The NO column is for those things that are definitely outside your limits at this time, the things you do not want to try at all. The MAYBE column is for those things that you might like to do if it felt safe, or you were turned on enough, or your partner was confident enough, or you were confident enough. This is the exploration list.

    Just in case you didn't think of them, here are some activities that appear on the NO lists of many experienced players:

Temporary marks like bruises, welts or shallow cuts
Permanent marks like cuts or burns or tattoos
Flowing blood of any sort
Play with piss or shit
Play with guns or knives
Sexual or genital play or penetration
Unsafe sex
Parts of the body that don't want to be touched, hit or whatever
Gags or breathing constriction
Use of intoxicants by top or bottom
Health issues like poor circulation, allergies, joint problems
Triggers (like "don't slap my face, it reminds me of my abusive father")
Emotional limits (like "don't tell me I'm bad," "don't tell me I'm small," "I don't play with abandonment")
Hypersensitivities (like tickling, or "don't touch my clit right after 1 come," or...)

    After the list is made, give yourself some time to think. Go back over your YES list, and mark with an N those items that you feel you NEED, in the sense that without these things the scene is not