The Bunk Up (The Village People Book 1) Read Online Free Page A

she takes a sip of her coffee from where she’s watching me closely across the kitchen table.
    “Damn right.”
    Miranda, Kathy’s eldest, meanders into the kitchen and plonks her ass down onto the floor beside us. She looks up at me, her huge blue eyes twinkling as she gives me a smile, then goes back to brushing her dolly’s hair. The way she’s yanking the brush through the mass of nylon curls makes me shudder.
    “Oh!” I state, blinking as something clicks in my head.
    Reaching into my bag I pull out the eyeball and hand it to Miranda. She gasps with delight then proceeds to, quite forcefully, pop dolly’s eye back into the gaping hole in its face.
    Something about Miranda doesn’t seem right. She looks the same. Her long golden hair is pulled into a ponytail behind her head in a bobble. Her angelic face still displays her usual smile and her wide eyes that are coated in a thick clown-like layer of her mother’s make-up still shine with their customary twinkle. Unable to pinpoint what exactly is wrong, I shake my head and turn back to Kathy as she bounces with excitement.
    “Sun, sex, sea and sand!” Kathy states, snapping back my attention.
    “What?” I gawp at her. “No! This isn’t Shirley Valentine . I’m going to a remote cottage, somewhere on the other side of civilisation, Kath. There’s no beach and I doubt there’ll be any sun either. And there’ll definitely be no sex!”
    She quirks an eyebrow at the overly-assertive tone in my voice.
    “I’m going for a couple of weeks,” I defend. “Just until I can get my head back together and I don’t feel that everything’s getting on top of me.”
    “You need a man with a big dick on top of you, Daise.”
    My mouth falls open and I shoot a look at Miranda, praying that she hasn’t heard her mother’s declaration.
    It’s then that I realise exactly what is wrong with Miranda. For a moment I can’t peel my round eyes away as my mouth falls open in shock. Slowly, unable to process movement for a moment, I turn to Kathy. “Are they your love balls in her hair?”
    She rolls her eyes but other than that she is completely blasé. “Yeah. She couldn’t find her regular bobble so she ‘found’ those in Mummy’s bottom drawer.”
    I stare in complete amazement. Then, as with everything crazy in Kathy’s household within the last week, I shrug and take another bite out of my sandwich.
    Bring on Beydon. Even if I’d never heard of it, it couldn’t be wackier than my best friend’s home!
     

 
    Chapter Four
     
    Frazer
     
     
    If London is the Oscar of the United Kingdom, Beydon is the Razzie. However, the show must go on and this is where Tilly Kendrick, superstar movie director, is filming her latest attempt to win one of the much-sought after awards. The film All is Not Lost is about a cancer suffering transgender (born male, now female) who becomes a superhero and saves the world from disease and suffering. I’m an actor and I’ve being trying to get a part in this film for over a year. The problem is I once shagged Tilly when we were studying drama at University and now she’s blacklisted me. She says I can’t act. That’s not true or I wouldn’t have won the part in an advert for a sofa company where I had to tell everyone about the great sale. Now we’ve swapped cock for cockerels as I’ve had to come to this bum-hole of the earth to beg her for a part. Now, I know I’m not going to get the lead role. That went to Joe Foster a long time ago. No, I’m aware I’m not in that league. But a supporting actor role, or even a goddamn extra if she’s going to continue to punish me. That will do. Anyway, I have something she may want.
    A cottage. Actually it’s my mother’s house. I say the term ‘mother’ loosely as I was brought up by my father. This cottage has been in her family for generations and she wants me to have it when she passes. She rents it out on occasion when she can be bothered, but by the looks of things