That’s How I Roll: A Novel Read Online Free

state. But if I had planned on actually putting up a defense, I’d’ve never let that happen. I knew what the DA knew—no matter who they picked for the jury, as long as it was from folks around here, they’d never vote to execute me.
    They’d never vote to elect that DA again, either. They take insults like that real personal around here.
    That’s why the words tumbled out of his mouth like a rolling bakery line of fresh lemon tarts, with a little strand of barbed wire hidden in each one.
    I knew they’d come that way—you can’t use a harpoon when you’re fly-fishing.
    But they kept using the wrong bait. I couldn’t come right out and tell them what to use, either. I did that and they’d all think I was the one holding the casting rod.
    ’d known this time was coming. I’d known it for many years. The only excuse I had for the hive not being fixed up just right was that I hadn’t planned on those other visitors—there wasn’t any reason to expect them.
    The design did just what it was supposed to do: the more the bears dug at it, the stronger the hive got. Pull off one layer and the others would fold in on themselves, only wrapped much tighter. I was sure I’d made that honey armor-plated.
    But, like I said, I hadn’t built it expecting the Feds. I had counted on never having to deal with them, because I’d been so careful to stay away from anything that might draw their attention.
    It’s not like TV. This place could be home base for a dozen serial killers, and still the local Law would never call on the Feds for help. Around here, you could be anything from a U.S. marshal to a census taker; you’d still be a Fed.
    Nobody likes the Feds. That goes back a long way, and its roots are deep.
    But I shouldn’t have counted on all that to keep me safe.
    tep Two kind of came by itself. Once the Feds took over, they acted just as smug and arrogant as you’d expect. Came straight out and said it, first words. Anything anyone in this whole state could do for me, the Feds could do better. A lot better.
    They could even fix it so I’d never spend another night behind bars.
    When the locals were trying to get me to hand over the honey,they called it “cooperating.” That word tastes foul in the mouth, just saying it. Like collaborating with the enemy.
    The Feds were much smoother. They called it “debriefing,” like I’d been out on an undercover mission. That didn’t taste as bad. If I’d been with them all along, all the talking they wanted me to do wouldn’t be a killer pointing the finger at the people who’d hired him. No, it would be a special kind of federal agent, reporting in from the field.
    They even said they’d get that put in the papers, so everyone would know what a hero I’d been.
    I knew that what people would think of me had nothing to do with what they might read in the papers.
    Maybe that’s why the Feds can never get in deep enough—all they ever have is a bunch of paper reports. If they needed someone to infiltrate a terrorist network, they had to recruit one who was already inside. Never occurred to them that they should put their own terrorists out there, and let the networks recruit
them
.
    It’s not just that they aren’t patient enough, they’re too … disconnected, I guess is the best way to put it.
    They know how to put their own people in with certain groups, but they can only pull it off when their agents are the same as the people in the group. White, I mean.
    Maybe that’s why it never crossed their minds that I might have killed some of those people for my own reasons.
    t least the Feds were honest enough to tell me that they were determined to fill their basket, and they had a whole shopping list. But my name wasn’t on it. Never been on it, they swore.
    I did believe that last part.
    When I say “Feds,” I’m using that blanket to cover a whole slew of them. It seemed as if a new agency hatched every day. FBI, DEA, IRS, ATF … the only one they