it.â
âBecause it offends your male ego I suppose ⦠not because youâre abusing the girl! Anyway Ben, you never pay because you fuck me for free ⦠but not tonight you wonât!â She looked daggers as he anxiously watched out for a taxi.
âThought youâd like to see Nana Plaza, Emm,â he said, trying to sound conciliatory.
âYou had it all planned, bringing me here, didnât you. Bet you wish I wasnât around ⦠Iâm really cramping your style!â Her fury came to a climax. âAnd how dare you tell me Iâm fat!â
Ben was beginning to realise that Emma was more angry than he had ever seen her.
âEasy Emm, cool it. Whatâve I done to make you so mad?â He gave her a look of offended innocence.
âThatâs the point ⦠you just donât get it, do you,â she snapped.
âYes okay, so I liked the girlies ⦠what normal bloke wouldnât.â
âAll men are blokes and arenât answerable, is that it?â said Emma frostily.
âWell, some of âem were drop-dead gorgeous ⦠but Emm, you canât be jealous about bar girls.â
She kept her cool but was raging inside.
âSo you tell me this then,â she said. âWhich girl did you like the best?â
âTricky one,â he laughed. âSpoiled for choice!â
âMaybe ⦠but tell me which one youâd choose for yourself.â
Standing on the kerbside late at night looking for a taxi, the traffic pounding past, Ben then made his big mistake. He answered her question.
âIâll go for the one in long pants with the pert little tits. Sheâs really something, Emm ⦠you donât have to be a man to see that.â
âAnd you donât have to be a man to hit someone!â
The sound of the slap and his cry of surprise and pain made the Thais in the street briefly turn their heads, though they had become indifferent to the uncouth foreigners in their scruffy clothes.
After a silent taxi ride back to the guesthouse on Khao San Road, Emma found herself suffocating in their tiny room. She was repelled by the smelly grey bed sheet and the towelling bedspread which she guessed had covered a multitude of bodies since last being laundered. The stagnant air was hot and humid and showering in the washroom down the corridor did not clean the stickiness from her skin. Lying on the bed with Ben at arms length beside her in the semi-darkness, she could contain her feelings no longer.
âIt was you pushed me into coming to Thailand, Ben,â she said. âAnd now you do this to me!â
âDo what to you?â he said, sitting up in surprise.
âWalking all over me ⦠treating me like shit.â
âThatâs rubbish, Emm!â
âNo Ben, I still canât believe you slobbering over those girls right in front of me.â
âLook, weâve been through this already ⦠and Iâm sorry,â he said in a low voice.
âItâs no use saying sorry. You canât undo it now, you know.â
âCanât undo what?â
âI mean the next time weâre together, Iâll know youâre fucking the Thai girl with the pert little tits ⦠and not making love to me. If there is a next time that is!â She turned away from him and rolled herself into a ball, holding her knees tightly to her chest.
3
The morning after the late night out, Emma was awake far too early. She lay looking at the ceiling, Ben in his boxer shorts sprawled on his front next to her, still dead to the world. Mulling over their months apart since graduating, her mind awash with the strife in the girlie bar, she very much feared travelling with him could go terribly wrong. Hardly able to sleep under the wheezing fan and detesting the heat of the city, she longed to get out of Bangkok; the Thailand she had dreamed of must surely be elsewhere.
Ben woke up that