Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life Read Online Free Page A
Author: Rachel Renée Russell
the hip.
For the rest of the day, everyone MacKenzie invited to her party sucked up to her like a human vacuum cleaner. Except for Brandon Roberts.
When she gave him an invitation, she tried to flirt with him by twirling her hair around her finger and smiling really big. She even “accidentally” dropped her purse so he would pick it up for her, just like Tyra says to do when you’re trying to get a guy to notice you.
But Brandon just glanced at MacKenzie’s invitation, shoved it into his backpack, and walked right past her.
And, boy, did she get upset when he blew her off like that.
Then, a bunch of jocks trampled all over her new $300 Vera Bradley bag before she could pick it up off the floor. Personally, I kind of liked the dirty footprints better than that boring floral pattern.
Anyway, Brandon is SOOOO COOOOL!!!
From what I can tell, he seems to be kind of the quiet rebel type.
He’s a reporter and photographer for the school newspaper and has won a few awards for his photojournalism.
Once he actually sat at my lunch table, but I don’t think he noticed me staring at him.
Probably because his shaggy, wavy hair is FOREVER falling into his eyes.
And today in biology, when he asked if he could take a picture for the school newspaper of ME dissecting my frog, I almost DIED!!
I was shaking so badly, I could hardly hold the scalpel.
And now every tiny detail of his perfect face is permanently etched in my mind.
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I AM FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME?!
THE BIOLOGY OF MY HEARTBREAK By Nikki Maxwell
I see you in my dreams
in your favorite white
button-down shirt,
sitting across from me
in the cafeteria.
I’ve never seen anyone
eat fries so beautifully.
I see you in biology class,
taking pictures for
the school newspaper, when
you whisper to the depths of my soul,
“Hold the frog at an angle.”
For it is only you
who can make a photo
of a dissected frog
seem so vibrant.
So alive. Yet dead.
It hurts to feel this way,
to know that you’ll never know me.
To want to run my fingers
through your dark, wavy hair,
as I realize that
the putrid smell of formaldehyde
and the dull gaze of a lifeless frog
will forever remind ME of US!
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 12
During my gym class, even the Scared-of-Balls girls were gossiping about MacKenzie’s party. Like one of them would ever get invited.
They’re the really prissy girls who hang in small groups and scream hysterically whenever a ball comes near them.
It could be a basketball, football, baseball, soccer ball, tennis ball, volleyball, beach ball, Ping-Pong ball, mothball, or even a meatball. They’re NOT very picky.
SCARED-OF-BALLS GIRLS PLAY VOLLEYBALL
YEP! You can always count on the Scared-of-Balls girls to screw things up and lose the game for you.
It really sucks to have girls like Chloe and Zoey on your team. Especially if you absolutely HATE taking showers after gym class (just the thought of showering at school makes me nauseous).
It will totally be THEIR fault if I catch some kind of incurable disease from the slimy mold and mildew growing in those NASTY showers.
WHY I HATE SHOWERING IN GYM CLASS!
Me BEFORE showering…slightly sweaty but clean& fresh!
Me AFTER showering…completely covered in stank, mildew, & slime!
I was really surprised when Chloe and Zoey came up to me after gym class and started talking. Of course, I pretended like I was NOT teed off at them for running away from the ball and making me have to take a shower.
Apparently, our librarian, Mrs. Peach, told them I was assigned to work with them in the library and they were actually EXCITED about it.
Like WHAT is so exciting about shelving library books??!!
But I just played along and pretended to be as thrilled about it as they were.
I was like, “OMG! OMG! I can’t believe we’re going to be shelving books together. How COOL is
For the rest of the day, everyone MacKenzie invited to her party sucked up to her like a human vacuum cleaner. Except for Brandon Roberts.
When she gave him an invitation, she tried to flirt with him by twirling her hair around her finger and smiling really big. She even “accidentally” dropped her purse so he would pick it up for her, just like Tyra says to do when you’re trying to get a guy to notice you.
But Brandon just glanced at MacKenzie’s invitation, shoved it into his backpack, and walked right past her.
And, boy, did she get upset when he blew her off like that.
Then, a bunch of jocks trampled all over her new $300 Vera Bradley bag before she could pick it up off the floor. Personally, I kind of liked the dirty footprints better than that boring floral pattern.
Anyway, Brandon is SOOOO COOOOL!!!
From what I can tell, he seems to be kind of the quiet rebel type.
He’s a reporter and photographer for the school newspaper and has won a few awards for his photojournalism.
Once he actually sat at my lunch table, but I don’t think he noticed me staring at him.
Probably because his shaggy, wavy hair is FOREVER falling into his eyes.
And today in biology, when he asked if he could take a picture for the school newspaper of ME dissecting my frog, I almost DIED!!
I was shaking so badly, I could hardly hold the scalpel.
And now every tiny detail of his perfect face is permanently etched in my mind.
IS IT POSSIBLE THAT I AM FALLING IN LOVE FOR THE FIRST TIME?!
THE BIOLOGY OF MY HEARTBREAK By Nikki Maxwell
I see you in my dreams
in your favorite white
button-down shirt,
sitting across from me
in the cafeteria.
I’ve never seen anyone
eat fries so beautifully.
I see you in biology class,
taking pictures for
the school newspaper, when
you whisper to the depths of my soul,
“Hold the frog at an angle.”
For it is only you
who can make a photo
of a dissected frog
seem so vibrant.
So alive. Yet dead.
It hurts to feel this way,
to know that you’ll never know me.
To want to run my fingers
through your dark, wavy hair,
as I realize that
the putrid smell of formaldehyde
and the dull gaze of a lifeless frog
will forever remind ME of US!
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 12
During my gym class, even the Scared-of-Balls girls were gossiping about MacKenzie’s party. Like one of them would ever get invited.
They’re the really prissy girls who hang in small groups and scream hysterically whenever a ball comes near them.
It could be a basketball, football, baseball, soccer ball, tennis ball, volleyball, beach ball, Ping-Pong ball, mothball, or even a meatball. They’re NOT very picky.
SCARED-OF-BALLS GIRLS PLAY VOLLEYBALL
YEP! You can always count on the Scared-of-Balls girls to screw things up and lose the game for you.
It really sucks to have girls like Chloe and Zoey on your team. Especially if you absolutely HATE taking showers after gym class (just the thought of showering at school makes me nauseous).
It will totally be THEIR fault if I catch some kind of incurable disease from the slimy mold and mildew growing in those NASTY showers.
WHY I HATE SHOWERING IN GYM CLASS!
Me BEFORE showering…slightly sweaty but clean& fresh!
Me AFTER showering…completely covered in stank, mildew, & slime!
I was really surprised when Chloe and Zoey came up to me after gym class and started talking. Of course, I pretended like I was NOT teed off at them for running away from the ball and making me have to take a shower.
Apparently, our librarian, Mrs. Peach, told them I was assigned to work with them in the library and they were actually EXCITED about it.
Like WHAT is so exciting about shelving library books??!!
But I just played along and pretended to be as thrilled about it as they were.
I was like, “OMG! OMG! I can’t believe we’re going to be shelving books together. How COOL is
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