Tales from a Not-So-Fabulous Life Read Online Free Page B
Author: Rachel Renée Russell
that?!”
We ended up eating lunch together at table 9, and it was really nice NOT having to eat alone for once.
Chloe’s full name is Chloe Christina Garcia, and her family owns a software company. It was amazingbecause she has read like ALL of the latest novels.
She says she lives “vicariously” through the characters’ joys and heartbreaks and learns a lot of stuff about life, love, boys, and kissing, which she plans to use when she goes to high school next year.
She said she owns 983 books and has read most of them twice.
I was like, “WOW!”
Zoey’s full name is Zoeysha Ebony Franklin, and her mom is an attorney and her dad is a record company executive. She has met practically ALL of the biggest pop stars.
Zoey says she likes reading self-help and is currently seeking ways to “enhance” her relationship with the three “mother figures” in her life. She has a mom, a grandmother who helped raise her, and a stepmother.
I was really sympathetic, since I know from personal experience that having only ONE “mother figure” inyour life can be traumatic and psychologically damaging.
Can you imagine having THREE?! OMG!
Then Zoey said, “How can you stand having a locker next to MacKenzie’s? She is like so STUPID, she rubs lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind! And being really shallow can sometimes create multifaceted self-esteem issues.”
I could NOT believe Zoey actually said that. I thought everyone at this school worshipped MacKenzie.
We laughed so hard that chewed-up carrot bits shot right out of my nose!
All three of us were like, EWWW! GROSS!
Then Chloe snickered, “Hey! Carrot-flavored boogers! Let’s give them to MacKenzie so she can sprinkle them over her tofu salad as a low-carb topping. In the Clique series, those girls are forever doing evil stuff like that to their frenemies.”
We laughed so loud at Chloe’s joke that the kids sitting at tables 6 and 8 started staring at us.
I even saw MacKenzie glance our way. But then she looked away really fast so we wouldn’t make the huge mistake of believing she actually acknowledged our existence. I could tell she was wondering what was going on.
So now I’m thinking about forgiving Chloe and Zoey for that whole shower FIASCO in gym class. I actually had a pretty good day today!
!!
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
I was pretty SICK and TIRED of hearing about MacKenzie and her STUPID little party! But since she is in my geometry class and I sit right behind her, I knew I was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. I was trying my best to ignore her when she turned around, smiled at me, and did the STRANGEST thing!
She handed ME a bright pink invitation tied with a big white satin bow!
I gasped and almost fell out of my chair.
My brain was like
OMG! OMG! OMG!
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, other than maybe that new iPhone I want.
Who would have thought that I would get an invitation to THE party of the year?!
Then it dawned on me that this might be some kind of really cruel JOKE.
I looked around the room for a hidden camera, half expecting Ashton Kutcher (I can’t believe he’s married to a woman older than my mom) to jump out of the closet and yell…
You just got PUNKED!!
Then I realized that most of the other girls in my class were staring at me with envy and disbelief.
It was really weird, because suddenly I noticed I had tiny lint balls all over my favorite hoodie.
And it made me feel self-conscious, so I tried to pick a few of them off.
None of MacKenzie’s friends would be caught dead in a not-from-the-mall hoodie with lint balls on it.
So I made a mental note…
BURN CURRENT WARDROBE!
MacKenzie was still smiling at me like I was her new BFF or something.
“Hey, hon! I was just wondering if you would—?”
But I was SO excited, I jumped right in before
We ended up eating lunch together at table 9, and it was really nice NOT having to eat alone for once.
Chloe’s full name is Chloe Christina Garcia, and her family owns a software company. It was amazingbecause she has read like ALL of the latest novels.
She says she lives “vicariously” through the characters’ joys and heartbreaks and learns a lot of stuff about life, love, boys, and kissing, which she plans to use when she goes to high school next year.
She said she owns 983 books and has read most of them twice.
I was like, “WOW!”
Zoey’s full name is Zoeysha Ebony Franklin, and her mom is an attorney and her dad is a record company executive. She has met practically ALL of the biggest pop stars.
Zoey says she likes reading self-help and is currently seeking ways to “enhance” her relationship with the three “mother figures” in her life. She has a mom, a grandmother who helped raise her, and a stepmother.
I was really sympathetic, since I know from personal experience that having only ONE “mother figure” inyour life can be traumatic and psychologically damaging.
Can you imagine having THREE?! OMG!
Then Zoey said, “How can you stand having a locker next to MacKenzie’s? She is like so STUPID, she rubs lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind! And being really shallow can sometimes create multifaceted self-esteem issues.”
I could NOT believe Zoey actually said that. I thought everyone at this school worshipped MacKenzie.
We laughed so hard that chewed-up carrot bits shot right out of my nose!
All three of us were like, EWWW! GROSS!
Then Chloe snickered, “Hey! Carrot-flavored boogers! Let’s give them to MacKenzie so she can sprinkle them over her tofu salad as a low-carb topping. In the Clique series, those girls are forever doing evil stuff like that to their frenemies.”
We laughed so loud at Chloe’s joke that the kids sitting at tables 6 and 8 started staring at us.
I even saw MacKenzie glance our way. But then she looked away really fast so we wouldn’t make the huge mistake of believing she actually acknowledged our existence. I could tell she was wondering what was going on.
So now I’m thinking about forgiving Chloe and Zoey for that whole shower FIASCO in gym class. I actually had a pretty good day today!
!!
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 13
I was pretty SICK and TIRED of hearing about MacKenzie and her STUPID little party! But since she is in my geometry class and I sit right behind her, I knew I was just going to have to suck it up and deal with it. I was trying my best to ignore her when she turned around, smiled at me, and did the STRANGEST thing!
She handed ME a bright pink invitation tied with a big white satin bow!
I gasped and almost fell out of my chair.
My brain was like
OMG! OMG! OMG!
It was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen, other than maybe that new iPhone I want.
Who would have thought that I would get an invitation to THE party of the year?!
Then it dawned on me that this might be some kind of really cruel JOKE.
I looked around the room for a hidden camera, half expecting Ashton Kutcher (I can’t believe he’s married to a woman older than my mom) to jump out of the closet and yell…
You just got PUNKED!!
Then I realized that most of the other girls in my class were staring at me with envy and disbelief.
It was really weird, because suddenly I noticed I had tiny lint balls all over my favorite hoodie.
And it made me feel self-conscious, so I tried to pick a few of them off.
None of MacKenzie’s friends would be caught dead in a not-from-the-mall hoodie with lint balls on it.
So I made a mental note…
BURN CURRENT WARDROBE!
MacKenzie was still smiling at me like I was her new BFF or something.
“Hey, hon! I was just wondering if you would—?”
But I was SO excited, I jumped right in before
Readers choose
Nicole Dere
Emma Holly
Linda Lael Miller
Julie E. Czerneda
Jane Kindred
J J Monroe
Guy Mankowski
Vincent Zandri
Jennifer Michiels