Stupid Movie Lines Read Online Free
Author: Kathryn Petras
Country Gal Style:
Don’t it get lonely out here? Or is milking that cow good enough for you?
Pia Zadora as the sexy jailbait to Stacy Keach in
Butterfly,
1981
On Come-ons, Damp:
Cynthia:
Hey! You’re all wet! I saw you last night at the Crazy Club … you were great! You’re cute!
Mike:
Naw, you’re cute!
Elvis Presley (Mike) and Shelley Fabares (Cynthia) in
Spinout,
1966
On Come-ons, Limp:
Man:
You have a very soft body.
Woman:
Soft? I work out two hours a day to keep it firm!
Man:
You have very soft skin over a very firm body.
Young man trying to seduce Loni Anderson in
Three on a Date,
1978
On Come-ons, Monstrous:
Your puritan upbringing holds you back from my monsters, but it certainly hasn’t hurt your art of kissing.
Horror writer to woman in
Orgy of the Dead,
1965
On Come-ons, Slick:
If you ever decide to swim the Channel, I’d like to handle the grease job!
Bad guy Tony (Robert Wagner) ogling Holly (Debbie Reynolds), before he becomes a good guy in
Say One for Me,
1959
On Come-ons, Terrible:
You don’t look like my ex-wife at all. She was well-bred and rather frail, except for her famous mammalia. You look more like a cow than my late wife. Oh, no offense. I’m very fond of cows. Moooooo!
Robert Mitchum to Liz Taylor in
Secret Ceremony,
1968
On Come-ons, Too Cool:
Hiya, tall, dark, and delinquent.
Blond bombshell Dorothy Provine talking tough to teen boys in the coed reform school lunchroom in
Riot in Juvenile Prison,
1959
On Comedic Moments, Flat Not Phat:
Emma, Victoria, Melanie C., Melanie B., Geri. You’ve been charged with releasing a single that was no more kicking than your previous ones. Nor does it have such a phat bass line. You are sentenced to having your next record enter the charts at 171 and having it fall out completely the following week.
Judge (Stephen Fry) sentencing the girls in
Spice World,
1997
On Communist Revolutionaries, Bee-Obsessed:
The peasant is like a wildflower in the forest, and the revolutionary like a bee. Neither can survive or propagate without the other. There is one essential difference between us and the bees, however. In this hive, I
will not
tolerate drones!
Che Guevara (Omar Sharif) to his ragtag rebel army in
Che!,
1969
On Conversations, Confusing:
Woman:
I guess even after you’ve made it, there are dues to pay.
Man:
That’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. Thank you.
Non-sequitur dialogue between a woman and a movie star in
Three on a Date,
1978
On Coply Wisdom:
After a psychologist says a murderer’s note doesn’t make sense:
That’s because we don’t understand it yet.
Cop to psychologist in
Knight Moves,
1992
On Copping, Cool Words About:
I’m dying to blast but I’m clean. Are you holding?
Cute coed (Diane Jergens) who’s looking for some marijuana in
High School Confidential!,
1958
On Cops, Great Moments in Forensic Deduction and:
One thing’s sure. Inspector Clay’s dead. Murdered.… And somebody’s responsible!
Police officer making an amazing discovery and deduction in
Plan 9 from Outer Space,
1959
On Cops, Intelligent:
Cop 1:
Did you get anything out of her?
Cop 2:
True, she was frightened and in a state of shock. But don’t forget, she tore her nightgown and had scratched feet.
Cop 1:
Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that.
Plan 9 from Outer Space,
1959
On Cops, Not So Bright:
I’ll have to see him before I believe he’s invisible.
Policeman who doesn’t quite know what to believe in
The Invisible Man Returns,
1940
On Cops, Philosophical Statements from:
You may know about corpses, fella, but you’ve got a lot to learn about women.
Policeman to morgue worker in
Autopsy,
1978
On Cops, Serial Killer Identification and:
I tell you what it is, Fanducci. It’s a big guy in a bulletproof dog suit. I know a serial killer when I see one.
Top cop Chief Richardson (Lawrence Tierney) to his detective, about a mysterious killer who rips his victims’ faces off and who is immune to
Don’t it get lonely out here? Or is milking that cow good enough for you?
Pia Zadora as the sexy jailbait to Stacy Keach in
Butterfly,
1981
On Come-ons, Damp:
Cynthia:
Hey! You’re all wet! I saw you last night at the Crazy Club … you were great! You’re cute!
Mike:
Naw, you’re cute!
Elvis Presley (Mike) and Shelley Fabares (Cynthia) in
Spinout,
1966
On Come-ons, Limp:
Man:
You have a very soft body.
Woman:
Soft? I work out two hours a day to keep it firm!
Man:
You have very soft skin over a very firm body.
Young man trying to seduce Loni Anderson in
Three on a Date,
1978
On Come-ons, Monstrous:
Your puritan upbringing holds you back from my monsters, but it certainly hasn’t hurt your art of kissing.
Horror writer to woman in
Orgy of the Dead,
1965
On Come-ons, Slick:
If you ever decide to swim the Channel, I’d like to handle the grease job!
Bad guy Tony (Robert Wagner) ogling Holly (Debbie Reynolds), before he becomes a good guy in
Say One for Me,
1959
On Come-ons, Terrible:
You don’t look like my ex-wife at all. She was well-bred and rather frail, except for her famous mammalia. You look more like a cow than my late wife. Oh, no offense. I’m very fond of cows. Moooooo!
Robert Mitchum to Liz Taylor in
Secret Ceremony,
1968
On Come-ons, Too Cool:
Hiya, tall, dark, and delinquent.
Blond bombshell Dorothy Provine talking tough to teen boys in the coed reform school lunchroom in
Riot in Juvenile Prison,
1959
On Comedic Moments, Flat Not Phat:
Emma, Victoria, Melanie C., Melanie B., Geri. You’ve been charged with releasing a single that was no more kicking than your previous ones. Nor does it have such a phat bass line. You are sentenced to having your next record enter the charts at 171 and having it fall out completely the following week.
Judge (Stephen Fry) sentencing the girls in
Spice World,
1997
On Communist Revolutionaries, Bee-Obsessed:
The peasant is like a wildflower in the forest, and the revolutionary like a bee. Neither can survive or propagate without the other. There is one essential difference between us and the bees, however. In this hive, I
will not
tolerate drones!
Che Guevara (Omar Sharif) to his ragtag rebel army in
Che!,
1969
On Conversations, Confusing:
Woman:
I guess even after you’ve made it, there are dues to pay.
Man:
That’s the nicest thing anyone ever said to me. Thank you.
Non-sequitur dialogue between a woman and a movie star in
Three on a Date,
1978
On Coply Wisdom:
After a psychologist says a murderer’s note doesn’t make sense:
That’s because we don’t understand it yet.
Cop to psychologist in
Knight Moves,
1992
On Copping, Cool Words About:
I’m dying to blast but I’m clean. Are you holding?
Cute coed (Diane Jergens) who’s looking for some marijuana in
High School Confidential!,
1958
On Cops, Great Moments in Forensic Deduction and:
One thing’s sure. Inspector Clay’s dead. Murdered.… And somebody’s responsible!
Police officer making an amazing discovery and deduction in
Plan 9 from Outer Space,
1959
On Cops, Intelligent:
Cop 1:
Did you get anything out of her?
Cop 2:
True, she was frightened and in a state of shock. But don’t forget, she tore her nightgown and had scratched feet.
Cop 1:
Yeah, I hadn’t thought of that.
Plan 9 from Outer Space,
1959
On Cops, Not So Bright:
I’ll have to see him before I believe he’s invisible.
Policeman who doesn’t quite know what to believe in
The Invisible Man Returns,
1940
On Cops, Philosophical Statements from:
You may know about corpses, fella, but you’ve got a lot to learn about women.
Policeman to morgue worker in
Autopsy,
1978
On Cops, Serial Killer Identification and:
I tell you what it is, Fanducci. It’s a big guy in a bulletproof dog suit. I know a serial killer when I see one.
Top cop Chief Richardson (Lawrence Tierney) to his detective, about a mysterious killer who rips his victims’ faces off and who is immune to
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