Going, Going, Gone! With the Pain and the Great One Read Online Free

wasn’t there.
    They put me on a table with wheels and pulled white curtains all around. Charliecame inside the curtains. The Great One followed her. Justin and Dylan stood outside, peeking in.

    The doctor wore blue scrubs with a white coat over them. She had a stethoscope around her neck. “I’m Dr. Itchee,” she said.
    “That’s a funny name,” I said.
    She stuck a thermometer in my ear.
    “I don’t have a fever,” I told her.
    “It’s routine,” she said. Next she grabbed one of those doctor sticks. “Open your mouth and say ‘aaah.’”
    “I don’t have a sore throat,” I told her.
    “It’s routine,” she said. Then she put the ends of her stethoscope in her ears. “Now let’s have a listen.”
    I started to say, “And I don’t have a …” but she said, “Shhh….”
    After that she wanted to feel my belly. I felt like shouting,
The pussy willow is up my nose!
But I didn’t. Instead, I told Charlie, “I want my mom.”
    “I know it, sweetie.” Charlie petted my head like I was Fluzzy. She doesn’t have permission to call me
sweetie
. Only Mom is allowed to call me that. But I was glad she was there, so I didn’t say anything. I didn’t even tell the Great One to take her hand off my arm.
    Next Dr. Itchee said, “Can you lie back and hold very, very still?”
    “Maybe,” I said.
    Dr. Itchee pulled on doctor gloves. I held Bruno against me. I was scared but not
that
scared. First Dr. Itchee looked up my nose with a light.
“Aha!”
she said. She sounded like the magician who came to Dylan’s birthday party. He was always saying “Aha!”

    “It’s really up there,” Dr. Itchee said. She put her light away. “Okay, Jake … I’m going in now.” It sounded like she was going to shrink herself into a teeny, tiny doctor and crawl up my nostril.
    But then I saw the long, pointy tweezers heading for my nose and I shoved them out of the way. “No!” I yelled.
    Dr. Itchee said, “I can’t do this unless you keep still.”
    “He’s scared,” the Great One said.
    “I think this might be easier if you both waited outside,” Dr. Itchee said to Charlie and the Great One.
    “But I
need
them!” I told Dr. Itchee. “They have to stay.”
    “All right,” Dr. Itchee said. “But your sister has to be quiet. Can you be quiet?” she asked the Great One.
    I would have laughed except I was too scared. For once, the Great One didn’t say anything. She just nodded.
    “This won’t hurt if you hold still,” Dr. Itchee told me. “And it will only take a minute. That’s sixty seconds. Can you count to sixty?”
    “Of course he can count to sixty!” the Great One said. “He’s in first grade.”
    Dr. Itchee shot the Great One a look. The Great One covered her mouth and said, “Oops!”
    I held on to Bruno and squeezed my eyes shut.
    Then Dr. Itchee said, “You can start counting now. Don’t forget to say ‘one hundred’ between each number.”
    The Great One counted with me.“One–one hundred, two–one hundred, three–one hundred.” I felt something cold inside my nose. I held Bruno tighter. “Four–one hundred, five–one hundred, six–one hundred …”
    Then I felt the cold thing come out of my nose and Dr. Itchee said, “Got it!”
    That’s when Mom came rushing in with Dylan and Justin right behind her. Mom gave me a big hug. “Sweetie,” she said. “You’re so brave!” She kissed me and kept patting my head.
    “He’s not
that
brave,” the Great One said.
    Justin and Dylan gave me high fives. Then Dr. Itchee sat on the edge of my table.
    “Okay, boys,” she said. “I want you to listen carefully to what I’m going to say.” She looked from Dylan to Justin to me. “Are you listening?” she asked.
    We all nodded.
    “Never, and I mean
never
, put anything up your nose that doesn’t belong there.”
    “What belongs there?” Justin asked.
    “Maybe nose spray,” Dr. Itchee said. “But only if the doctor prescribes it. And never put anything in