ShameLess Read Online Free

in both hands, angling over the words, almost as if guarding them – watching over Elle, and it reads:
     
    Do believe I'll never leave you,
    Always you will be in my heart.
    Don't forget my soul is near you,
    So we will never be apart.
     
    Daughter. Friend. Angel.
    Elle Elizabeth Derringer
    December 2, 1993 – May 11, 2011
     
    I gently run my fingers over the deep engraving allowing each tip to feel the hard concrete and the meaning of each one. ‘ Do believe I'll never leave you, Always you will be in my heart ’.
    I stop, letting them pause over the words. “I’ll never leave you, either, Elle. No matter where I go, I will never be far from you. You will always be in my heart, always with me.”
    Continuing, I let my fingertips rest over, ‘ Don’t forget my soul is near you, so we will never be apart ’, and this almost breaks me in half. I gasp. “I know we will never be apart. You are part of me. Always have been; always will be. You are now my Angel. Fly free, my friend.” My entire body starts quivering, as I scream, “Oh God!” releasing so much grief into the quiet winds of the day. In a much softer voice, I whisper, “To be stronger without you, I have to let go. You will always be ‘ My hero, my wind beneath my wings…. Fly! Fly!’ I love you, Elle, farewell for now.”
    Moments slip by on this sweltering late spring day. Vivid reflections of Elle’s memory are still close to my heart. I embrace each one with a warm tenderness. Crossing the lawn, I am so lost in my thoughts I am oblivious to anything other than seeing a few squirrels hopping from tree to tree. I also hear the faint sounds of some birds singing. I glance over my shoulder stealing one more glance at Elle’s final resting place before turning, and making my way back to my car.
    That is the exact moment I faintly hear my words. Only, it is not my voice, and it is not being whispered. It is deeper. I do not see anyone, at first. I truly thought I was alone because I didn’t see anyone else when I first arrived, which is one reason I left my car door open and put Bette on repeat, letting it sound loudly across the cemetery.
    Interest piqued; I start nosing around trying to pinpoint who is speaking my words. Were they listening? “Oh, God, I hope they didn’t hear everything I said.”
    Now, I feel so vulnerable, but continue walking. I only take a few steps before I hear them again, even more clearly this time. “Why? Why God? W-H-Y?”
    It’s a male voice. Is he mocking me? Oh god, I think I hear crying, too. It is a cemetery, Ren, for garsh sakes. People cry. Hello?
    This is not my business. I know this. Having said that, I can’t force myself to turn around. Call me crazy, a stalker, creeper or whatever... By stalking, I am doing to someone else what I had just prayed was not done to me. I am invading his of privacy. Something presses me on. Yes, it is the words. I believe there is more to it than that. Regardless, I am curious and need to find out.
    I circle around a small-secluded garden area. There are concrete benches, a little birdbath, and assorted flowers neatly placed around. It is quaint, but do they honestly believe people are going to spend time sitting on a bench admiring birds bathing or be considering how meticulous the flowers adorn the beds? Strange, I think. I zigzag around a few headstones. Out of respect, I am careful not to step on their graves, nearly tripping myself in the process. Dang it! I catch myself before falling, and keep heading straight.
    Not far in the distance, I see him. His back is to me, but he looks somewhat familiar. His head rests in his palms, and he is on bended knee. What do I do now? I can’t just walk over there and intrude. I don’t want to interrupt his moment with his loved one. Oh my god, he is standing. Do not turn around. Do. Not. Turn. Around.
    Quickly, I hide myself behind the thick trunk of a nearby oak. Holy shitballs! Just great! Luckily, I think I ducked out of sight