Medium in Paradise: A Humorous Paradise Romance Read Online Free Page B

Dina up with my fiancé.”

CHAPTER SIX
     
    “So that’s your big reason for coming back? To be a match maker?” Dina stared at her askance and would’ve laughed if the situation wasn’t so strange. “You know, I’ve heard of a lot of reasons for spirits haunting houses: horrific life before death, murder, guilt, evil spirit, intense sadness--you know— important things. But I’ve never heard of a ghost returning to become a matchmaker. That’s gotta be one of the most shallow reasons to return from the dead that I’ve ever heard of! Is this man even alive?”
    “Of course he is, silly! Why else would I be trying to set you up with him?” She floated down, perching on the edge of the counter. She leaned forward, smiling coyly as Taavi’s eyes quickly darted away from the dangerous Gulf of Paranormal Cleavage he was swimming into. “He’s all alone and I want to do one good thing for him before I leave for good.”
    “I’m afraid you wasted your cosmic energy. You see, I already have a man.”
    “Who? Not Anthony?”
    “Yes, Anthony ,” her mother chimed in, coughing delicately.
    “Isn’t this the same man that couldn’t be bothered to call you when you got the keys to your new house? I mean, come on! Could he have made a weaker excuse?”
    “Dina knows I don’t like him. He’s not right for her. He doesn’t even respect her gifts,” her mother said as she lit candles and pulled out a bag of sea salt.
    “Mom!” She drilled her mother with a sizzling look. “Look-- sorry, but you’re gonna have to choose somebody else for your dating game.”
    “Nope, I was drawn to you specifically.”
    “Well, that’s because I’m the complete package. I’m successful, attractive and I can cook. I’m a good catch for any man.” She realized she sounded a little snooty. But if the shoe fits…
    “And yet Anthony doesn’t seem to realize that,” her mother interjected, dropping the salt to the table with an audible thump. “Why is that?”
    “Mom--,” Dina said, wearily. “Not now.”
    “Edith is right,” Sam agreed, nodding like an all wise shaman. “But while all of those qualities are great, it was more than just that. Out of all the women within a four hundred mile radius only thirteen of them could sense me. Six of them were too young, three of them were too old, one was a lesbian, and two were married. That left only you: lucky number thirteen.”
    “I’m sorry but I’m not available. I guess your fiancé will just have to learn to get along on his own. Mom, Taavi, could you all get going with the banishing ritual? I’d like to bring you on a tour of the house…”
    “What’s your name, honey?” her mother suddenly asked. Halting with her salt sprinkling, she slid onto a counter stool.
    Honey ? Oh, no, when you asked a spirts name you were either preparing to rid yourself of their company or inviting them to enjoy a cozy stay. This wasn’t a good sign.
    “Samantha Goode. Sam to my friends. Nice to make your acquaintance.” She smiled, floating around and shaking each of their hands. When she got to Dina, she just gave her a hard stare until she got the message and floated away with a shrug.
    “And how did you die?” Taavi asked.
    “Car accident two years ago yesterday,” she said, cheerfully sipping from a cup of coffee. Dina watched in dismay as the coffee poured straight through the ghost’s body and splashed onto the once pristine hardwoods.
    “What the--!” she exclaimed, running over and looking at the mess then glaring up at the ghost. “You can’t drink real coffee! You’re dead, remember?”
    “Oops! Sorry! Being around you guys, I forgot for a minute there.” She floated a mop over and cleaned the mess up, then put it back in the corner. “So, anyway, where was I? Oh, I remember! So, the car plunged over the bridge and into the water, I slammed my head my head against the dashboard, drowned on the way down and the rest is history.”
    “Now I know why you