A Year in the Life of a Complete and Total Genius Read Online Free

I could make it work with my very busy extracurricular schedule. I think you should reconsider sending this letter to my dad at all. He’s a very busy man, and he is also very sad about losing his wife, so if he thinks his son is bad, it might break his heart and leave me an orphan. Don’t you think I’ve been through enough?
    Yours truly,
    Arthur Bean
    Arthur,
    Please keep this revised letter in this sealed envelope for delivery to your father.
    Thank you,
    Ms. Whitehead
    â€¢ • •
    November 4th
    Dear RJ,
    I know that I’m supposed to use you for reading responses, so I’m responding to a letter that Ms. Whitehead wrote to my father. It sucks. It’s the stupidest letter I’ve ever seen—and the stupidest idea ever. For one thing, I think Robbie will just use the time for tutoring to spit on my paper. He used to do that in fifth grade when we sat across from each other. Then I got in trouble for handing in wet math problems, and the cool girls called me Droolyface. Not only that, but Robbie is clearly stupid. My mom used to say that calling people stupid is the worst thing you can do, but I think that’s stupid. Sorry, Mom. Some people are stupid. People like Robbie Zack, and people like Ms. Whitehead for coming up with some crappy punishment for me because she knows I’m probably smarter than she is and that I’m going to be famous and never dedicate a book to her. I won’t even thank her in the Thank You section. All this tutoring is going to get in the way of my writing time too. My story for the competition is going to be way shorter now.
    Anyway, RJ, I just wanted to tell you this because no one else will listen. If ever you want to tell me something, RJ, I’ll listen. HA-HA-HA.
    Yours truly,
    Arthur Bean
    â€¢ • •
    November 4th
    Dear Mr. Everett,
    I’ve been thinking a lot about my place in the newspaper club, and I would like to write a column once a month. In my article, I will comment on goings-on at school and in the world as I see them. I promise it will be funny, especially since I am practicing to be a famous author one day.
    Yours truly,
    Arthur Bean
    Hiya, Arthur,
    Your suggestion for a running article is an interesting one! What enthusiasm and initiative for the newspaper! We normally reserve opinion pieces for the editors who have a couple of years of hard-hitting journalism in grades seven and eight behind them. Why don’t you cover the Remembrance Day Assembly instead? We can see how that goes, along with a few other articles in the next couple of months and perhaps try a sample of a running article after a few more editions.
    Cheers!
    Mr. E.
    â€¢ • •
    November 5th
    Dear Alexa,
    Please consider this letter as consent for Arthur to participate in the tutoring program. I’m glad he’s able to help out.
    Ernie B.
    â€¢ • •
    November 7th
    Dear RJ,
    I have to start tutoring Robbie this Tuesday. I tried to talk to my dad, but he says I have to do it if my teacher thinks it’s a good idea. He told me to “take it as a compliment.” I don’t know how spending time with a jerk is a compliment. I was talking to Luke about it today, and he said that I should say that I’m sick and go home early, and then when Ms. Whitehead asks me about it, I could say that looking at Robbie’s face makes me want to throw up. I thought that was pretty funny, don’t you, RJ? Too bad Luke isn’t around more often. We got to see them at Thanksgiving, but now I have to wait until Christmas. Talking to him on the phone sucks too. His mom always takes the phone from him and coos about sending her love. It’s so lame.
    Oh yeah. About reading books, Luke told me to read Feed , by M. T. Anderson. He said it’s crazy-weird and funny so far. I’m going to see if the library has it tomorrow.
    Anyway, wish me luck this week, RJ. I’m going to need it!
    Yours truly,
    Arthur Bean
    â€¢