Medium in Paradise: A Humorous Paradise Romance Read Online Free Page A

you doing?” Dina demanded, furiously.
    “Gosh, you certainly like to ask obvious questions,” the ghost replied without turning around. “I figured I’d make a little something for you all to drink while we chatted.”
    “While we chat ?” her mother repeated, incredulously. “Why on earth would we chat with you? You don’t even belong in this world. And how is it that I can see you so easily? Normally spirits only show themselves to Taavi, or Dina if she chooses to see them.” Her mother’s empathic abilities allowed her to sense strong emotions or energy in a particular space, but to not necessarily see whom and what they were originating from.
    “I’m special. That’s why we’re going to chat, Edith.”
    “Humph! I don’t chat with ghosts. I get rid of them. And how on earth do you know my name?”
    “Because I just know.”
    “Smartass,” her mother growled. “You sure she’s not a demon?”
    “I don’t think so. But who knows? She’s certainly irritating enough to be one.” Dina crossed her arms, crossly watching as the ghost moved around the kitchen as if it were her own.
    “She’s no demon,” Taavi chuckled. “This is incredible. Are you a poltergeist?” They watched the ghost as she floated each of them coffee cups over her head. Dina took an experimental sip. It was perfect. A healthy dash of cream out of her fridge and just a hint of her sugar. For some reason this irritated her and she clattered the coffee cup to the granite countertop.
    “I don’t know. Maybe.” She finally turned around. Taavi’s eyes nearly bulged out of his head when he got a good look at the ghost’s huge new rack. “I have learned a bunch of neat tricks since I died. Got nothing but time on my hands now.”
    “Looks like you’ve made a few changes since last I saw you,” Dina drawled, eyes widening, then narrowing as she stared at the ghost’s three or four cup size upgrade.
    “Yeah--,” the ghost said, jiggling her rather impressive bosom. They gave a jellylike ripple and the ghost smiled hugely. Dina and her mother grimaced in unison. “I figured I’d give myself an upgrade after what you put me through last night.”
    “After what I put you through? I’m afraid you have this mixed up. You do realize this is my house?”
    “Your house. My house. Our house. Aren’t they all just pointless titles?” She waved her hand expansively, cocking her head to the side.
    “No, they’re very real titles and that’s why I’m going to help you enter the light.” After glowering at the ghost’s new Dolly Pardon worthy chest, Dina’s mother put her now empty coffee cup aside, rummaging in her purse and setting several items on the counter.
    “Now, wait just a minute.” The ghost hastily floated to the ceiling, assuming the lotus pose. “As everyone knows all ghosts remain on this plane of existence for a reason. The same is true for me.”
    “Umm-hmm, that’s why we do what we do--” she gestured to Taavi. “--to help you discover that reason and then get you to the light.” Dina’s mother began lighting white tea candles and putting herbs in a mortar and pestle, crushing them grimly.
    “Mom, you keep a mortar and pestle in your purse?” Dina frowned, staring down into the depths of her mother’s cavernous bag. She possessively snapped it closed as Dina reached a hand inside to finger what looked like a dried animal skin.
    “Always be prepared. Now move outta the way, honey and let your mother do what she does best.” Holding her hands up, she closed her eyes and opened her mouth.
    “Wait! I already know the reason why I’m still here.” The ghost floated down to a safe height, her giant phantom boobs jiggling slightly with her movement. Damn things seemed as realistic as her own.
    “An enlightened ghost. I do think I’ve seen it all. Pray do tell us why you’re still here,” Dina’s mother drawled. They all looked up at the ghost, awaiting her response.
    “I’m here to set