Forsaken Read Online Free

me, and it would have hurt less. He was thinking…of Ryder? My heart clenches, hurt tears through me. Shame swarms my body, how stupid can one girl be? What in the world made me think a gay man was attracted to me? I should have known better. Why does it hurt so much? It’s not like I didn’t know Nate was gay.
    Ryder’s face has softened, and his voice grows gen tle. “You aren’t completely over it, are you Nate?”
    “I am over it, she just started asking and it brought back memories. I fucked Janelle only for you and when Maya asked why I didn’t want her…I kissed her and it all came back. It was just a fantasy, and it shocked me. Shocked me that I would think of her or you like that after what happened with Janelle. It wasn’t Maya’s kiss that aroused me; it was the idea of being with you again.”
    I make a hurt sound and both men turn to see me standing there. Tears thunder down my cheeks, because I have just realized how much Nate’s words affect me. How much it hurts that he only did it for Ryder. Nate winces and he narrows his eyes, giving me a pleading look, “Aw bubba, I didn’t mean it like that…”
    “Don’t.”
    I grip Sandy’s hand; she has been silent beside me this whole time. She holds my hand with a vice like grip, and we walk down the hall in the opposite direction.
    “Maya!”
    Nate runs after me and when he reaches me, I turn and slap him harshly across the face.
    “Thanks a lot Nate, for making me feel like nothing but a way to get to fucking RYDER. You are my best friend and I thought…”
    “It wasn’t just Ryder, please listen, it was everything…”
    “How could you? How could you kiss me and hurt me like that?”
    “I didn’t…”
    “We are leaving,” Sandy snaps, pulling me into the elevator and hitting the ground floor button. Nate’s face is broken as the doors slide closed. When they are fully shut, I crumble and Sandy catches me in her arms. 
    “Sweetie, shhh, it’s ok.”
    When the elevator comes to a stop, Sandy leads me out the front door. I know the two men won’t be far behind.
    “Get a cab, now Sandy, ” I hiss, with a crackled voice.
    She waves down a cab and we slip in just in time to see the two men tear out the front entrance. The cab driver turns to us, he is an older man, with grey hair and light blue eyes, “Where to ladies?”
    “A club, any club, ” I answer.
    “Very good, ”
    He pulls away from the curb, and I don’t turn to look at the two men I know are standing and desperately wanting to make things right with me. The cabbie drives two blocks, and pulls up at a huge, bouncing club. My eyes hurt from crying and I know I look like hell. We pay the cabbie, and get out onto the side walk.
    “We need a bathroom, ” I whisper, my voice hoarse.
    “Alright, come on.”
    Sandy knows better than to argue with me. She knows I won’t take it well. We enter the club and it is jam packed full of people. We find a bathroom and shove through the drunk women to find a mirror. I wipe my face and let my hair down. God…I look awful. I splash my face with some fresh water, then I take a deep breath and pull Sandy back into the club, and over to the bar.
    “Tequila, shots, make it snappy, ” I order.
    “ Whoa, Maya…”
    “Don’t Sandy, just don’t.”
    “Is that wise after everything that happened?”
    “It’s perfectly wise.”
    I shoot down three shots of straight tequila in less than five minutes. I am an easy drunk, so after the fourth and fifth shot, I am literally living up to the tequila name - One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, FLOOR.
    “Maya, honey, get up.”
    I stare at Sandy’s blurry face. I am laying in a booth, laughing to myself.
    “He fucking kissed me coz ’ he wanted Ryder, I should have known,” I slur.
    “Honey, why don’t we go back to the room?”
    “No, fuck them, fuck them…”
    She shakes her head and pulls out my phone, I try to grip her hand, but I am too slow.
    “What you