1 Catered to Death Read Online Free Page B

Eden Academy full-time. The school’s employees were a little strange.
    I went back to my preparations, reminding myself that so far I’d only met three of the people who worked at the school. Surely some of the employees at Eden Academy had to be pleasant and normal.
    Time would quickly prove me wrong on that one.

    “Seafood casserole! How marvelous! I could smell it all the way from my office down the hall! It smelled exactly like the waterfront when there’s a dead fish rotting in the sun.”
    I looked up from the salad I was tossing. A plump woman with shiny platinum hair entered the faculty lounge. Like Claudine, she had on very high heels along with a bright neon green wrap dress that didn’t quite close over her large breasts. She was what my mother would have called ‘flashy’ and what Steve’s mother would have termed ‘trampy.’
    “I adore seafood casserole,” the blonde announced. “Everyone says I make it better than anyone.” She looked at me as if she expected an argument.
    “I’ll have to get your recipe,” I said. “I’m always on the look out for new recipes.”
    The blonde shook her head. “Sorry, but it’s an old family secret. The Webbers never give out recipes and we never sleep with anyone on the first date.” Seeing what I’m sure was a shocked expression on my face, the blonde laughed loudly. “Just joking, sweetie. Of course I’ve slept with people on the first date. I’m Monica Webber.”
    “DeeDee Pearson. It’s nice to meet you, Monica.”
    “I’ve never met anyone actually named DeeDee before. It’s so quaint, so old-fashioned. I love those mid-century names like Debbie and Linda and Sharon. So 1950s.”
    “It’s short for Denise. Denise Deborah, actually.”
    “How alliterative of your mother,” Monica replied. She peered at me closely. “Do you know what ‘alliterative’ means, sweetie?”
      “Yes––”
    Monica ignored me. “It’s when two words start with the same letter. Like ‘Robert Redford’ and ‘black beauty,’” she explained in a slow, patient tone of voice that instantly made me want to dump the salad on top of her platinum head. “I know I’m just an administrative assistant but I feel it’s my mission—no, it’s my duty to educate everyone I meet. We are a school and we should take education seriously. At least, that’s how I feel.” She sniffed. “Although I know not everyone employed here feels the same way.”
    “How noble of you,” I said.
    Monica looked pleased with my response. “Well, I think so. I wish some of our other staff members would get with the program and understand what I’m talking about. Everyone here should care about education. Even the custodian.”
      “I’m sure you all do an exemplary job,” I murmured.
    “Some more than others,” Monica replied. “So, are you all set for today’s soiree ? That’s French for ‘party.’”
    “Yes, I am,” I said as I tried to remember how to say I know in Spanish.
    “We’ve all been looking forward to this lunch ever since Claudine announced that Junebug was finally retiring. Yum yum and all that. We are a gang who loves to eat so I do hope you won’t disappoint us with whatever you’ve whipped up.”
    “I think you’ll be pleased,” I said as I tried to convey the impression that I was able to cater meals almost in my sleep. Interesting. Frank Ubermann had made a point of saying that the staff at Eden Academy didn’t like to celebrate special occasions and now Monica was saying that they loved to eat. Who was telling the truth?
    “It’s just wonderful that Claudine was able to get you on such short notice. You must have a very open calendar,” Monica said, raising a penciled eyebrow. “Not a lot of dates?”
    “I just started my business so I’m quite open at the moment,” I admitted. I had the feeling that someone like Monica would pounce on the news that I wasn’t a seasoned caterer with the glee our cat had when pouncing on a baby