When September Ends Read Online Free

heavily. “She’s been quiet. Withdrawn. More about September though,” I clarify.
    “May I speak with her?”
    “She’s next door playing with her friend. I can have her call you when she comes back in.”
    “I would appreciate that, Jesse. We’re up until eleven. I’ll give Sarah your best.”
    I start to reply, but I realize Ruth has hung up the phone. Add me to another shit list, I guess.
    I leaf through the stack of envelopes on the coffee table that I’d brought in from the mailbox.
    Finally.
    A thick envelope from my cellular carrier is in the pile. I tear it open and immediately start scanning the text messages from Shayla to September, and then verify it with outgoing calls on her phone.
    I pick up my cell and push the digits of Shayla’s number. It rings several times and then goes to voicemail.
    Shit. How pathetic would it sound for me to leave a message? I decide against it. I’ll try her number again tomorrow morning.
    There’s nothing I can do at the moment. This whole thing has zapped my energy. I can’t focus on work, on my business, on anything except September.
    I rub my stubbled face. I haven’t shaved in two days. I haven’t slept in my bed because it seems too empty even though I never allowed her to sleep there unless Scout was out of the house. Even after I knew this thing with her was real and valid.
    Shit.
    What am I? Amish?
    I get up and grab a beer from the refrigerator. It takes all of two minutes for me to guzzle it down and then grab another. I stretch out on the sofa, grab the remote and click on the television knowing that any type of noise will do so that I don’t feel so fucking alone.
    I rest the bottle of beer on my stomach with one hand, and click the remote to channel surf with the other. I’m not picky. Anything that can distract me for ten minutes will do.
    After I finish my second beer, I grab my cell and hit the redial for Shayla. Once again, it rings several times and then goes to her voicemail.
    What the fuck? “Hey Shayla, this is Jesse Ryan. Wondering if you’ve heard from September lately? If you do, will you please tell her to get a hold of her sister? Scout’s been out of sorts after not talking to her for more than a week. Thanks.”
    Am I a schmuck, or what? Sometimes even I piss myself off. I mean, why in the hell did I just put this on Scout?
    I toss my cell back on the coffee table and finish off my beer just as Scout is coming in for the night.
    “Get your shower,” I halfway bark at her and instantly regret it. “I’m sorry, honey, I’ve had a bad day.”
    “Is it because of September, Dad?” she asks quietly. And she knows. There’s no doubt about it, she knows. And I’m not about to lie to her.
    “Yeah, Scout. I miss her. I miss her a lot.”
    “Have you found her?”
    “Not yet.”
    “Is she mad at us?”
    “No, baby. I think she’s mad at me.”
    “Why?”
    “It’s complicated,” I reply, because it’s the truth.
    She rolls her eyes. “That’s the same thing that Casey said today when I asked her if she was still mad at you.”
    “Huh?”
    She shrugs and heads down the hall towards her bathroom. “I just asked if you guys were friends again or if she was still mad and she told me…it’s complicated.”
    “Hey,” I holler after her, “Call your Grandma before bed. She called for you.”
    “Okay.”
    Later on, after Scout has talked to her grandparents—and to Sarah, I tuck her in, give her a goodnight kiss and tell her that things will all work out. I need her to believe that; hell, I need to believe that.
    I shower and decide it’s time to sleep in my bed instead of on the sofa tonight.
    I pull back the bedspread and there it is.
    An envelope. With my name handwritten, on the front, in September’s script.
    I suck in a hard breath as I sit down on the bed and unfold the paper inside.
    Dear Jesse,
    I’m sorry that I left the way that I did, but I didn’t know how else to leave. Knowing that Mama is still alive