When September Ends Read Online Free Page A

should be good news, but I didn’t feel that way and I know how wrong that is! I should be happy for that but all I felt was angry and confused. I know how selfish that sounds. I need some time to figure things out. What we had seemed so right, but now I wonder if maybe we were both fooling ourselves. I hope Mama is doing well. I will miss you and Scout, but this is the right thing to do for everyone. I will stop by as soon as I stop hurting. I can’t leave Scout like this forever. But please, Jesse, give this to me. Let me stop hurting and get past all of this. You and I need to do what is right by Scout—and Mama. It’s what I want.
    My Love, September
    After I’ve read it once, twice and then three times, I fold up my ‘Dear Jesse’ letter and place it gently in the drawer of my nightstand. I switch the lamp off and crawl beneath the covers, feeling an emptiness seep in like nothing I’ve ever known.
    I search my soul for some kind of relief, some confirmation that September is right about us, that we were, in fact, fooling ourselves, living some kind of an erotic, taboo fantasy.
    But I don’t find it. Because I know it isn’t the truth. Oh, I can be patient. I can and will give her the time she wants to stop hurting, but I know in my gut it won’t matter. I will still feel what I feel for her, and I know that she will feel the same.
    Being apart from one another isn’t right for anyone. I can see that and, I know eventually, she will see it as well.

Chapter 4

    I’m getting ready to head out for my first day of classes when my cell phone rings. I grab it from my pocket and see that it’s only eight-thirty. It’s Shayla. We haven’t talked for a few days.
    “Hey,” I answer.
    “September, Jesse got my number somehow and left a voicemail. He wants to know how to reach you. What should I do?”
    Shit.
    But I smile anyway. “Oh God, Shayla…I don’t know. If you ignore his message, he’ll just leave another. I hate asking you to lie—”
    “Oh hell, don’t worry about it. I’ll call him back and tell him that I live out of state now and that I haven’t a clue where you live, which is the truth.”
    “He’s going to ask more questions, you know?”
    “Yeah, well I’ll lie if need be, unless you want me to tell him.”
    “Nothing’s changed,” I reply. “Gotta get to class. Thanks, Shayla.”
    “Talk to you soon,” she replies, “Hang in there, babe.”
    Easier said that done I thought to myself as I headed out to my car.
    I get through my first day of college classes, which mostly involves teacher and student introductions that I hate more than you can imagine. I don’t like summarizing who I am to a bunch of other people, whether students or faculty, I just don’t like it. And because of that, my voice generally falters and then I get really flustered, so I speak softer, which ultimately leads to the teacher asking me to repeat it.
    Fuck that.
    Luckily, I don’t have a shift tonight so I can go back to my apartment and chill for a bit, and then start reading the assigned shit on my syllabus for each class.
    Lovely.
    Just as I’m getting into my car, I hear a shrill whistle and a male voice shouting, “Whoa, September, hold up!”
    I turn and it’s my neighbor, Brandon, jogging over towards where my car is parked. “Classes over?” he asks.
    “Yeah, thank God,” I reply, nodding.
    “Ah c’mon, was it that brutal? Let me see your schedule.”
    And I pull it from my backpack and hand it over to him.
    “Okay,” he says, after he’s scanned it, “You’re not in too bad of shape. I’ve had three of the five professors you have this semester. Let me clue you in. With Bartlett, you need to make sure you participate in class. He’s a big proponent of that. Whitacre will be drunk during most of his lectures, so don’t sweat it if it doesn’t make sense. And Byers? She’s a royal bitch and won’t cut you any slack, doll, because of the way you