and let them dance together deliciously. She leaned in toward him. She wanted to be closer to him. She wanted her body to press up against his. She wanted it all. She wanted every bit of him.
She was so conflicted. Her mind was wavering back and forth on so many things and she was afraid she was going to make a mess of everything.
Did she want him or did she want to take the time she needed to process everything that had happened to her?
Did she want revenge or did she want to keep Josh safe?
Did she want to hide out in Chazel or did she want to go back and face the DRMC?
She didn’t know. She didn’t know the answer to any of those questions. She just kept wavering back and forth. She wanted Josh so badly. He brought his hands up to her breasts and squeezed her gently through the thin cotton of her shirt.
“Wait,” she said.
What was she doing? She knew she was sending mixed signals. She was the one who’d started kissing him and now she was breaking it off.
“I’m sorry, Josh. I’m just so confused.”
“It’s okay, Rose. I understand. That’s why I want to help.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m just really terrified that you’ll get hurt. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew that something bad had happened to you because of me.”
He was holding her face in his hands. She’d broken off their kiss but his mouth was just inches from hers. She wanted to lean forward and taste it again. She wanted all of him. She wanted to feel him inside her.
She looked into his eyes. She reached out and traced his lips with her fingers. She knew she was making a mistake, she knew things were already moving too fast and that she wasn’t in control of her emotions, but she just couldn’t help it. She didn’t have the strength to make the tough decisions she needed to make. She didn’t have the strength to fight anymore. She was tired. She just wanted it all to be over. She wanted her past to be behind her so that she could move on and start a life with Josh.
“Take me,” she whispered.
Josh let her finger enter his mouth. He looked at her, his stare intense and deadly serious.
“Are you sure?”
She wasn’t sure. She was anything but sure. She didn’t know what she was doing. One minute she was telling him that she needed to slow things down, she needed time and space to heal, and the next she was telling him to take her. She wasn’t making any sense. She was unraveling.
“I’m sure,” she said.
He looked at her questioningly. He was having a hard time reading her. She knew that. She knew it was her fault. She was giving him mixed signals. She was going to mess things up with him. She knew it. Either he was going to think she was too much of a slut for giving it up so easily, for having been a prostitute and a stripper, or he was going to get confused because she kept saying she wanted him and then telling him she didn’t. She felt like she was walking a tightrope. Whatever she did was going to be a mistake.
She leaned in to him and felt his large, strong hands going down her back. She put her hands on his waist and pulled at the belt of his jeans. He pulled her shirt up over her head and threw it to the ground. She faced him, her bare breasts in plain view. He glanced at them hungrily before looking into her eyes.
“Are you sure you’re ready for this?” he said.
Rose pushed through her own barriers. She silenced the voices in her head that were telling her to take things slow.
“I’m ready,” she said. “Just take me now. I’m yours.”
She wanted to be his. She wanted that more than anything in the world.
Josh leaned forward and put his mouth over one of her pert, pink nipples. She sighed in pleasure as he sucked on her. The electricity of sexual stimulation began to flow through her and the voices in her head lost their force. She leaned back on the bed and looked up at him.
“What are you waiting for?” she said.
He seemed concerned, nervous even, but he reached under her