The Mystery of the Mystery Meat Read Online Free

Freekin, and Scary riding to therescue! Only better, because it would fix things once and for all—because of her! Because
she
had summoned Horatio Snickering III back to the Land of the Living!
    “But let’s think this through, Miss Pretty.” He tapped his chin with his finger bones. “I don’t believe the other good people of Snickering Willows are ready to see the founder of their town in my condition.”
    As he ran his hand down the center of his body, the knucklebone of his little finger caught in his dusty rotten vest and sliced the rotted threads apart. Pretty saw his rib cage and, in it, his heart, withered and unbeating like a dried-up crab apple.
    “You see, I am quite undead,” he finished.
    “Freekin so undead,” she argued. “Steve like Freekin. Raven like Freekin. Tuberculosis like Freekin.” Her tone got edgy. “And Yucky Lilly lov—”
    “I’m aware that Freekin is quite popular with his living friends. But you may also remember that he was tried for Curiosity, under a law I created. So I doubt that
I
would be popular with them. No, I think it would be better if I worked behind the scenes. That’s where
you
would come in, my dear.”
    “Me comes in,” she repeated fiercely, not at all sure what that meant. “‘Knock knock, who’s there? Pretty! Pretty who? Me so Pretty!’”
    He chuckled, amused. “Something like that.”
    As he spoke, he reached into the shredded pocket of his vest and pulled out a shiny gold pocket watch. He held it up by the mossy golden chain, and he began to swing it left and right, back and forth, slowly, slowly…
    “Shiny,” Pretty said. “Watches at the mall. Happy holidays!”
    “Yes, there is much to purchase at the mall for the winter celebrations,” he said with a chuckle. “Like this pretty, shiny watch. Watch the watch, Miss Pretty. Keep all those lovely eyes on the watch.”
    She did. Soon Pretty heard a droning sound in her ears. She felt very…calm.
    “Good. Very good,” Horatio said. “Now you are under my spell. I have hypnotized you, and you must obey me without question. Say, ‘Yes, master.’”
    “Yes, master,” Pretty murmured.
    “Excellent.” He grinned at her as he moved his watch back and forth, to and fro. “Now listen, my girl. I was able to see what you did to those two Bad Meat Men in my factory when you and your friend Scary escaped the chomping machine. You put them in a Terror-Induced Coma. It was quite brilliant.”
    Pretty’s head swayed as she watched the watch. Her ponytail ears bobbed. Her eyelids began to close.
    “Terror-Induced…” she repeated.
    “Yes. You almost put Freekin into a coma like that once before. I don’t think you realized it, and you stopped before you were done. But it comes quite naturally to you. And I want you to do it again.”
    She frowned slightly. He took a step toward her and cupped her chin, making her watch his watch.
    “Listen to the sound of my voice. It is your master’s voice. Do you understand?”
    “Yes, Horatio Snickering III,” Pretty said in a flat, monotone voice. “Me so understanding.”
    “Excellent. Now go back to Freekin’s house and put him in a Terror-Induced Coma.”
    Pretty frowned slightly. She stirred as if trying to wake up from a bad dream. Horatio Snickering dangled the watch between all her eyes, which crossed.
    “I want you to do this for his own good,” Horatio Snickering said kindly. “You know how involved he gets in things. He’s risked his unlife for his friends time and time again. I would hate it if anything happened to him.”
    “Freekin…” she murmured.
    “I know that
you
would hate it if he were harmed, too, because you care for him so deeply. So if you put him in a coma, he’ll be safely out of the way while I make everything better for him and his friends.”
    “You so good,”she murmured. Her multiple rows of fangs glistened in the moonlight.
    “Yes. I am very, very good. And so are you. You are good and obedient.”
    He