Mercury Shrugs Read Online Free

scuttlebutt was that Fornaeus had gotten in some trouble and had been reassigned.
    “What are you saying?” asked Azrael dubiously. “You were behind the change in guards? I don’t believe it.”
    “I’ve still got spies in Heaven’s organization. It took some doing, but I was able to get a personnel change made.”
    “So this new guy is one of yours?”
    “No,” said Lucifer, frowning. “They vet these guards too carefully. I can get occasional favors by bribing them, [4] but there’s no way any of these guys would knowingly help us escape.”
    “So what was the point of getting Malcazar appointed in Fornaeus’s place?”
    “Malcazar is one of the Senate’s favorites,” Lucifer replied. “Big hero in the Battle of Eden II. They gave him that sword to reward him for his service. It doesn’t look familiar to you?”
    “Should it?”
    Malcazar reached the right wall of the cavern, turned on his heel and began walking toward them.
    “That gem in the pommel is a shard of Ubiquium,” Lucifer said. “Our new guard is wielding the Sword of Eden.”
    “You mean the one...?” Azrael began.
    “Yes, the one used by the angel to guard the Garden of Eden after God kicked out Adam and Eve. That’s the story, anyway. It’s mostly rubbish. But the point is, that’s a very special sword. If I can get close to that sword, I can get us out of here.”
    “If you need to get close to the sword, why don’t you make him stab you ?”
    “Because, you dolt, I need to be able to concentrate. I’m not going to be able to do that if I’m in excruciating pain from having my insides sliced open.” After a moment’s thought he added, “Not that, you know, it will be that bad.”
    Azrael grimaced. “You really think you can get us out?”
    “I know I can,” said Lucifer. “I’ve memorized an incantation to activate the Ubiquium. If I can get within a few inches of the sword, I can harness the power of the gem to temporarily neutralize the Balderhaz Cube. He gestured toward the black cube on the pedestal on the other side of the cage wall.
    “Why does it have to be me?” asked Azrael. “Why not one of these jerks?” He motioned to the group of demons behind them. Lucifer’s eyes were drawn to one of the rulebooks in front of Drekavac, the cover of which depicted a motley group of adventurers with medieval weapons gathered around a huge statue of some kind of demonic entity. Two of the adventurers were trying to pry a massive ruby from the statue’s right eye. Lucifer vaguely remembered helping to co-author the game sometime in the late 1970s as part of his largely failed effort to corrupt American youth.
    “I backstab Gurien and Pazusu while him and Gurien are arguing,” said the demon sitting to Drekavac’s right. His name was Amalech.
    “You aren’t even in the same room as them, Amalech,” groaned Drekavac.
    “I’m in the same room as Amalech, right?” asked the demon on the other side of Drekavac. He was called Salamar.
    “Yes,” said Drekavac.
    “Okay,” said Salamar. “I backstab Amalech.”
    “What did I do?” Amalech protested.
    “Nothing, said Amalech. But Pazusu backstabbing Gurien is making me suspicious.”
    “He hasn’t done that yet. It’s not his turn. And you would have no way of knowing about it if he had. Also, you’re unconscious. And giant rats are eating your face,” said Drekavac.
    “Oh yeah,” said Salamar. “Stupid giant rats.”
    Drekavac turned back to Pazusu and Gurien. “You know, you guys could try attacking the owlbear that’s bearing down on you from across the room.”
    “I don’t feel like attacking the owlbear would be true to Pongo the Magnificent’s motivations,” said Pazusu. “He’s chaotic evil.”
    “You’re all chaotic evil,” Drekavac groaned. “Even chaotic evil characters occasionally have to cooperate. Like when there’s a rabid owlbear about to devour you all.”
    Pazusu thought it over. “I’m not feeling it. I think Pongo