First There Was Forever Read Online Free Page B

sunny, with only a few dense clouds in the sky, like scoops of vanilla ice cream. Hailey and Dad were wave-diving, and I was lying on the sand reading and eating chips. Every now and then I’d look up and see their heads, bobbing just beyond where the waves were breaking.
    “There’s no time like the present, Lima,” Dad announced when they came out to shore. They were both all wet, an even layer of sand stuck to their calves and feet, like a rough second skin.
    “C’mon, Li,” Hailey said. “The ocean isn’t scary. You’re being totally psycho.”
    I looked from Hailey to Dad and back to Hailey, and I knew I wasn’t getting out of it.
    We walked toward the ocean. The sand felt slimy under my feet, and the water felt sharp and cold, like a million needles on my thighs. I froze. I looked at Hailey, but she didn’t look scared or cold at all. She looked back at me, rolled her eyes, and grabbed my hand, pulling me in farther. Just when my feet started to lose contact with the floor, Dad yelled: “Dive!”
    I held my nose with my right hand and lurched forward through the tense surface of the water. I felt the wave crash overhead, but it didn’t hurt. Being under the wave felt like being inside of a pulse, or a big heartbeat.
    I popped up out of the water and Hailey was screaming and cheering. I was treading water and gasping for breath, but I was laughing, too.
    “You did it, Li.” Dad beamed.
    The water felt thick and muscular, not like the limp water of a swimming pool. It was actually easy to swim out here. I remember thinking, This is it? This is what I’ve been so afraid of? I’m just
here
now. Only a hundred feet away from where I’ve always been. I’m still me. I’m just in the ocean.

chapter

ten

    “I t’s back on with Nate,” Hailey announced. It was a cool fall day, and we were walking toward the car-pool line where Mom would pick us up.
    “Really?” I asked. This was the first time she had mentioned Nate in the two weeks since her meltdown in the bathroom.
    “Yeah. We hung out at Max’s house last night, and he seemed really into me.”
    “You went to Max’s house? On a school night?” I asked, feeling vaguely left out.
    “Yeah, I’ve had, like, zero homework all week,” she said. “It’s been amazing. Anyway, Nate sat next to me on the couch while we watched a movie, and I could just, like, tell he wanted to be near me. Our shoulders were touching, like, the whole time. I can’t wait to see him tomorrow night, now that we have some momentum.”
    “What’s tomorrow night?” I asked. “The dance?” Hailey and I hadn’t gone to a school dance since sixth grade, and I was shocked she wanted to start going again now.
    “Are you joking? The dance?” She laughed. “I feel awkward just thinking about all those streamers hanging from the ceiling in the gym.”
    I laughed, too. “It’s not that bad.”
    “Well, you should go,” Hailey said. “Say hi to the fruit punch for me if you do.”
    “So if you’re not going, where are you planning on seeing Nate?” I asked.
    “Max’s. He’s having people over. His house is so fun when his parents are out of town.”
    “Have you gone there a lot?” I asked.
    “Not like, a-lot a-lot, but a few times,” she said. She pulled her cell phone out of her pocket and started typing.
    “Why don’t you ever bring me, too?”
    “I just didn’t think it was your kind of thing,” she said.
    “What do you mean?” I was starting to feel unsteady.
    “You know,” she sighed. “It’s just, like, smoking cigarettes and weed and watching dumb TV.”
    “I like that sometimes,” I said shakily.
    Hailey rolled her eyes. “Don’t get all bent out of shape, Li. Just come tomorrow night if you’re curious.”
    “Do you want me to come?” I asked.
    “Yeah. Totally,” she said, but her tone was opaque. And then, after a pause, she added, in a softer voice, “Of course I want you come.”
    She pulled me into a tight hug. She smelled