First There Was Forever Read Online Free Page A

but that was hard for me to imagine. The only thing that I could tell for sure was that Nana, Dad, and I all had the exact same eyes. They were clear, even pools of blue.
    “School’s hard,” I said. “Harder than last year.”
    “You’re a smart girl,” she said. “You’ll do fine.”
    Mom and Dad made lunch while I swam in the pool. The water was warm and velvety. I did flips, handstands, and somersaults until my fingertips turned into raisins. And then I climbed out of the water and ate under the sun. The taste of chlorine mingled with the salty food. The sun grew lazy and tired and sunk lower in the sky. The light changed to that mild orangey afternoon color and soon we all went inside.
    During the car ride home on Sunday, Mom, Dad, and I listened to the Rolling Stones. My favorite Rolling Stones song had always been “Wild Horses,” and it was easy to sing along to. We took the Pacific Coast Highway all the way back to LA.
    When we were about twenty minutes from home, I got a text message from Hailey: Nate and I kissed last night. My life has finally begun.

chapter

eight

    H ailey texted me during lunch on Monday to come find her in the bathroom in the science building. She was sitting on the floor of the handicap stall, her face in her hands. She looked up at me, revealing puffy red eyes. The way she had tucked her knees up to her chest, I could see her underwear. Even though Skyler was acting like Hailey’s new best friend, I was clearly still the one Hailey wanted to cry to.
    “I thought I looked so pretty today,” she stammered between sobs.
    “You do!” I said, crouching down and putting my hands on her knees.
    Her bottom lip quivered as more tears came. She flicked them away with the tips of her fingers. She always cried like that—wiping away tears before they could run down her face and ruin her makeup. I leaned in and gave her a hug. My cheek touched her forehead, and her skin felt oily and hot.
    “He doesn’t like me, Lima,” Hailey said, her voice cracking. “He told Ryan, who told Sara, who told Skyler that he only kissed me ’cause he was really drunk. He said it was a mistake.”
    “Nate? What a moron,” I said, rolling my eyes. “You can do better.”
    She looked at me with empty eyes. “I can’t,” she said softly. “I can’t do better than him.”
    “He’s a spoiled, rude, too skinny, cocky, stupid sixteen-year-old,” I said, trying to come up with accurate insults. “He thinks he’s so cool and edgy, but he’s just the same as everyone else.”
    She half smiled, and then her eyes went blank with pain again. “Lima, he was such a good kisser.”
    I hated that detail, but I tried to keep my tone light.
    “Just forget about it. Think about that hot guy you hooked up with in San Diego.”
    “Everyone hooks up with random guys from out of town. Out-of-town guys don’t count.”
    I laughed; I couldn’t help it. And then Hailey started laughing. After a few minutes I think she actually seemed a little less sad.

chapter

nine

    S aturday morning I woke up early enough to watch Dad surf behind our house. He usually went in around six or seven, not like the hard-core surfers who went in at five, or even four in the morning. Sometimes I’d see those surfers piling into their cars on the Pacific Coast Highway, sunburned and raw, already having been in the ocean for several hours by the time I was leaving for school.
    Now I sat beneath a damp gray sky, watching Dad ride the choppy waves. I wore a fleece jacket over my sweatshirt but I was still cold. I wondered how Dad could stand to be in the icy water.
    I know it’s weird, because I grew up practically on the beach, but for the longest time, I was afraid to go in the ocean. I liked swimming in pools, where the water was predictable and calm. But the ocean was ragged and wild, always threatening to pull you in and never let you go.
    I finally went in when I was twelve. It was perfect beach weather that day, hot and