Finding Cait Read Online Free

the perils of war and loss.
        
He turns towards me and nods with a slight grin, “Cait, it’s been a while.”
        
I suddenly can’t speak and use all the power I can harness to nod in
agreement.  He still has the same hard jaw line and dark hair that he had
when we were younger.  As he runs his hand over his hair while reaching
for his hat I am suddenly mortified as I remember what I must look like. 
I had come straight from work and have been crying for what feels like
hours.  I quickly start playing with my hair and try to act very
nonchalant about flattening it and wiping under my eyes.  Looking at the
black on my fingers I decide to give up, it’s hopeless.  I must look like
a drowned rat and trying to recover is only calling more attention to it.
        
It only takes a glance from him to warm my soul and I feel a pull to be near him. 
So much has happened these past weeks that I can’t even begin to untangle the
knots around my heart and figure out who or what each rope is comprised
of.  I think the tightest rope is wrapped for Court, the need to rescue
her without that possibility is its own form of torture.  A few tangled
ropes belong to Elliot and the dreams we shared along with our loss.  I
can’t deny that Matt is there too, once I thought his connection to my heart
was buried deep but all this time it has been there, mixing with the others and
tangling around my heart leaving little room for happiness and lots of scar
tissue.
        
“Well, if you ladies don’t mind I am going to run out and get my bags,” he says
as he heads for the door. 
        
“Of course,” Courtney says glancing at me with a mischievous grin.  I try
to jump up from my vulnerable position on the couch before she can add what I
already know is coming but I cannot out run her and I am so grateful the screen
door slams as she whispers, “I don’t mind but I can see Cait does.”
        
“Stop it Court, I am not above hitting a dying woman.  There is a first
time for everything.”  She giggles as she mocks how I was attempting to
fix my appearance. 
        
“Come on, if ever the two of you were going to hook up at least do me the honor
of making it happen before I die so I can hear how the two of you will live
happily ever after,” she says trailing off in her best fairytale voice.
        
“You know most girls would be totally grossed out at the thought of their best
friend ending up with their brother. Sorry to disappoint you but it is never
going to happen.”  Well at least that is what I have been telling myself
for years.  Matt is not going to happen for me.  I only hope that
eventually my heart will get the memo.  What are we shared was long ago
and as an adult I know that it was for the best but I can’t help but to
recognize how my heart rate has picked up just from being around him again.

 
    Chapter 5
    Matt
        
I am so grateful I have left my bags in the car.  When I pulled up outside
Court’s house I had seen a car in the driveway and knew right away it was
hers.  I knew coming back here was going to be hard but I had no idea that
seeing her again would bring back all the feelings I have been trying so hard
to suppress.  Seeing her sitting there in that tight black skirt and silk
blouse with mascara running down her face shot pain straight through to my
heart.  Watching Court die is going to be extremely painful only to be
made worse watching Cait loose her best friend. 
        
I open the door to my truck and grab my bags, glancing across the street at
Cait’s old house.  Court has lived in this house since moving in with the
Argyles when she was a child.  I am grateful that the Argyles gave it to
her as a gift when they left to serve with their church.  Court has told
me that they are not coming home to watch her die because she has insisted
their time was better spent on the people who can be helped by them. 
    I look up to the
window where I