Finding Alice Read Online Free

my mom. Mrs. Pike had reprimanded me that afternoon for wearing colorless lip gloss. “If I have to stay at SCCS for one more day, I will do something very regrettable.”
    “What do you mean?” My mother looked horrified.
    “Whatever it takes to get kicked out,” I said with false confidence. “And I’ll make it bad enough to ensure they never let me back in.”
    Somehow she believed me, and afraid I’m sure of public humiliation, she managed to convince my father to allow me this liberty. Of course, it came with a severe warning—any trouble and I wouldbe doing homeschool. Now there’s a threat with some teeth to it. Also, I was expected to keep my grades up. But looking back, I think my dad was secretly relieved to save the tuition money, and it wasn’t long before my little brother was released from his bondage too.
    Anyway, I didn’t disappoint them. Being the odd duck, misfit, nerdy new girl in high school, I managed to maintain a perfect GPA right up until graduation. I could’ve been a candidate for valedictorian except that my previous ten years spent in an unaccredited private church school made me ineligible. I still remember my disappointment when the guidance counselor informed me. I thought my day had finally come to feel special, standing before Warren High School and delivering a speech worthy of my honor. My consolation prize was the offer of a state scholarship. And I suppose that made me feel special, but it didn’t feel nearly as spectacular as being valedictorian or, say, a star of stage or screen.
    Not that I necessarily think I have any great theatrical skills. But during my last three years at college, I made up for lost time by seeing a couple of hundred movies. I think I’ve become something of a film expert in the process. Shay was a movie buff too and would get so stoked whenever I saw a really good flick for the first time. Being an impoverished student, I lived on a miserly budget, so most of these films have been watched on videos or late night TV. But I really prefer the theater experience with the sticky crushed-velvet seats and smell of stale popcorn.
    Still, I must admit to having felt a bit guilty about this “carnal and forbidden” activity at first, but before long I realized it was simply a necessary facet of my education. I had lived in a cultural vacuum for so long that I was somewhat out of touch with reality. Not thatHollywood is reality. Maybe that’s why I like it so much. Maybe I want to escape from all this reality. And I can admit that I sometimes overly connect with the main characters. After seeing Gone With the Wind for the first time, I went around talking like Scarlett O’Hara for three days. I guess it just made me feel special. “With God as my witness, I will never go hungry again!” I was actually pretty good.
    And perhaps this need to feel special makes it even easier to believe I’ve finally been chosen. Although I’m not exactly sure what it is I’ve been chosen for. Or even who I’ve been chosen by, but I’m beginning to suspect it might be God. As I recall, it was Amelia who implied this to start with, but as days go by, it seems quite plausible. More and more I begin to believe that God is for real and that he is actually speaking to me personally. I know he is preparing me for something quite big and important. For the first time I really do feel special.
    It’s as if I’ve been given a golden key that will open any door set before me.
    Not long after receiving this revelation, I begin to read my old Bible. I am actually quite surprised to discover that I still have it and that I can find it. But this morning I wake up before sunrise, and I head straight for a Nike shoebox that must be left over from my brother Aaron’s big feet since he’s the only one in our family who’s ever worn a size thirteen and has since the eighth grade. My mother insisted I bring this shoebox full of useless books to college with me, but for three years I