Deadly Friends Read Online Free

I’d have a word about Darryl with our local intelligence officer and the regional rape squad. After that we’d have to go looking for him. I drifted up to the office and turned the lights off. Five minutes later the car started first time and I drove home on empty roads. There were no messages on my ansaphone. I flicked round the TV channels, didn’t find anything worth the electricity and went to bed. Another Christmas gone.
     
    It didn’t take me long to deploy the troops next morning because DCI Makinson had commandeered most of them in his hunt for the doctor’s killer. In the run-up to Christmas we put everyone we can afford out mingling with the shopping crowds, looking for pickpockets and fraudsters. It’s amazing how many we catch. After Christmas it’s back to burglaries. We’d had the usual spate and several victims were complaining about our lack of response. The front desk handles most of the grumblers, but if I can’t find a reason to be out of the office the more persistent ones come through to me. I patiently explain how thinly we are stretched at times like these, but feel like screaming down the phone that this was the first Christmas I’ve had off since Bing Crosby was in short trousers and most of my staff can’tremember when they last saw their children out of their pyjamas. The burglaries would go unsolved, or perhaps be Taken Into Consideration if we got lucky, and our rating in the public’s eyes would sink even lower.
    ‘Yes, Colonel,’ I said into the phone for the tenth time as Maggie seated herself at the other side of my desk. ‘We have a patrol car in that area, and we’ll ask them to keep their eyes open.’ I grimaced at her and nodded repeatedly at the earpiece. ‘You’re right, sir – horse-whipping is too good for them.’ I put the phone halfway down and snatched it back again. ‘Yes sir, … we will … thank you for calling.’ This time it made it back to its cradle before he could ramble on some more.
    ‘Colonel Blashford-Ormsby-Gridpipe,’ I explained to Maggie. ‘Someone has popped-off all his Christmas tree lights with an airgun.’ I stretched my arms out as if aiming a rifle.
    She said: ‘A proper tree, out in the grounds, I presume.’
    ‘Perchow!’ I said. ‘Got one. Good shot. No, I think he said it was standing on the piano.’
    She gave me the resigned look I’ve seen so many times. ‘Dare I ask you about Janet Saunders?’ she wondered.
    ‘Janet Saunders,’ I told her, ‘would come as a welcome relief. What else did she tell you?’
    ‘Nothing useful. She said he didn’t wear a condom, but she doesn’t know if he was circumcised or not. She’sstarted her period, so that’s a relief. I had a word with her about AIDS and the availability of counselling, but she says she definitely wants a test.’
    ‘Good for her. Let’s go see Mr Wood and kill two birds with one well-aimed missile.’
    Superintendent Gilbert Wood was spooning coffee into a mug as he shouted a come in to my knock.
    ‘Ah, just in time,’ I said as we entered. ‘It must be at least six minutes since my last one.’
    He dropped a teabag into another cup, saying: ‘Maggie?’
    ‘Ooh, coffee please,’ she replied. ‘I’ve just had one, but it’s not often the super makes it for me.’
    ‘Jesus washed his disciples’ feet, Margaret,’ he replied.
    We sat down at his desk while the kettle boiled and small-talked about Christmas. When it clicked off, Maggie jumped to her feet. ‘I’ll do it,’ she said. ‘Don’t want you scalding yourself.’
    There were sounds of stirring behind me. ‘Just two sweeteners for me,’ Gilbert called to her. ‘Oh, and don’t put the teabag in the wastepaper bin.’
    ‘Where do I put it?’
    ‘Anywhere but the bin. The cleaning ladies have complained. They jam the shredder, or something. I don’t know what we’re supposed to do with them.’
    ‘Those cleaning ladies are growing too big for their boots,’ I grumbled.
    Maggie