that is how it will be with my child. I rub my hand over my flat belly and wonder if it will be a boy or a girl. Will it look like me or Devil? Then it dawns on me, for all intents and purposes, I will be a single mom. How did I get here? The last seven weeks of my life have been a blur. I went from being a happy teenager that had her life somewhat planned out, to hanging on by the seat of my pants.
My mind drifts to my college plans and Mase. He was supposed to be my happily ever after man. The man I shared my life and family with, and now we are just, what? I have not taken the time to process this. I took Devil up on his deal and ran. Since when do I run from my problems? Am I still going to go to college? That part is easy to answer, yes. I have to have a good education to provide for my child and myself. I’ll be damned if I let Devil support us. So one thing solved. I am going to find a way to do online classes. That way I won’t have to leave the baby so much. Check that off my list. My scholarships will require so many hours in class time, but I can get a sitter for that.
Next problem. Where to live? Where else would I go? Home. Texas, definitely. I will find something around dad. Not with dad. I am an adult and have to stand on my own two feet. He won’t like it, but he’ll accept it. I’ll get in touch with Hanna and Fe. Maybe we can be roommates for a while. That’ll get them out, too. At least I have a plan to put into action when I get back or after dad is here.
Mase. I know I have been trying to conquer the easy ones first, because it’s easier when it’s not emotional. Mase will always have a special place in my heart. He was most of my firsts. He says he still loves me, but I can’t trust him. I just need to distance myself. It’s going to be hard when I get back, since he is in the BlackPath’s now, or at least a prospect.
Devil on the other hand is easy for me. He deceived me and used me. I know we started out as a business deal, but I fell in love with him. I thought he loved me, but instead he was using me to get back the woman he actually already claimed in his club. I not only trusted Devil but Steel and Stone and all the Feral Steel MC. I wonder if Kat and Kim knew. Of course they had to know. They are part of the MC family. I feel like such a fool. I trust too easily. I thought I could trust my instincts, but apparently not. Once again something Karen had a hand in taking away from me. That woman is toxic. I will never be like her. I have to cut a wide path around them. Avoid at all costs.
My next issue is two people. Diamondback and Karen, and after them eventually Bri. I don’t know Diamondback’s angle and I won’t until we at least meet and talk. I can do this. He wanted a damn heir? Well he can’t have me or my child. As soon as I am out of my first trimester and my baby is stronger it is time to meet my DNA dad head on. Hopefully I will have dad’s support, but if not, I will still do this.
Karen, on the other hand, is a whole different matter. She has been a thorn in my side my whole life, but this is the last straw. I wonder if the BlackPath MC got her. She has a marker on her head and she was right in the clubhouse. I should have taken care of her then, but I have to choose my battles carefully now. With Kizzy and Bri there, then was not the time. Now they think I am on the run. Licking my wounds. If they only knew I am just gaining strength. They came into our house and brought crap down and I will repay that.
Bri is just trash and I have to say her and Devil deserve each other. She will be dealt with. The only solace I find in the whole thing is when Devil found out he was being played, it had to devastate him. I wish I was a better person and could say I don’t want revenge, but I do. I just hope my hate doesn’t tarnish my child. I should be happy I got away. I should just be happy I have my baby, and I am, but that also means I have to deal with Devil for the