Zombies Eat Lawyers Read Online Free
Author: Kevin Michael, Lacy Maran
her eye--the gift shop.
Vanessa dashed over to the merchandising Mecca at full tilt, narrowly dodging the chomp-happy hordes. But getting to the gift shop was only half the battle. Having spent so many nights late nights aiding the Senator, Vanessa knew they gated up the joint after hours. It was time to close up shop.
But the zombies were onto Vanessa. They started stammering her way, all eager to make a quick snack of her. Vanessa looked up in the entryway and saw a pull down gate. She grabbed it and started to slide it down as the zombies got too close for comfort. Halfway down, the gate got stuck. Vanessa panicked, a bead of sweat dripping down her face. She got transfixed by the horde closing in, then came to her senses just in time.
Vanessa used all her energy to unjam the gate. She then pulled it down just as the zombies reached out to tear her apart. But having a gate between her and the undead wasn't enough to stop them from trying. The zombies reached their grubby paws through the gate, looking to clutch her blouse, and pull her close enough in to have a nibble of her.
Vanessa back stepped in a hurry, foisting herself as far away from the zombies as possible. That was, until she slammed into a fleshy roadblock. Feeling a presence behind her, Vanessa turned around to have her worst fears confirmed. She'd managed to lock herself into the gift shop with one of the brain eaters. The smock-wearing, pock-marked clerk lunged at Vanessa. She moved out of the way just in time, leaving the Smocked Zombie to topple a rack of "I Heart Congress" t-shirts.
Vanessa moved to the other side of the gift shop, desperately scrambling to find a weapon to bring down the monster. As the Smocked Zombie stammered towards her for a second go around, Vanessa found salvation in the form of a fire extinguisher. Vanessa ripped the extinguisher from the wall, then reamed the zombie in the face with it. The zombie dropped like a stone. Not content to rest on her laurels, Vanessa grabbed the computer monitor from on top of the cash register and broke it in half over the zombie's skull. The zombie laid lifeless on the ground while the computer monitor crackled and sparked.
Finally Vanessa was safe. But she was also trapped. With a protective gate between her and danger though, Vanessa was finally able to pick up her phone.
*********
"Baby," Vanessa said over the line, trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.
"Vanessa. Oh thank God you're alive," Steve said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"I just want you to know how much I love you. That I don't want to live without you--"
"Why are you talking like you're never going to see me again? You're not bit, are you?"
"I just want you to know you're the best thing that ever happened to me--"
"Vanessa. Stop talking like this is the end."
"Steve, I don't know how long this gate will hold those monsters off," Vanessa replied, seeing the zombie ranks swell on the other side of the gate.
"Where are you?" Steve asked, panicking.
"I'm at the Congressional gift shop. I got the security gate down, but there's a lot of zombies out there."
"Just stay there. I'm coming to get you."
"But...but Steve, that's like a death march," Vanessa said, as shocked as the Paralegals back in the break room.
"Vanessa. You're the best thing that ever happened to me too. And I'd give everything I have for one more second with you."
And like that, Steve's fate was sealed, for better or worse.
*********
All it took was a trip to the parking lot for Steve to realize saving Vanessa was much easier said than done. First, Steve needed better wheels. His jalopy was unreliable at best during his morning commute. A getaway vehicle to leave the apocalypse in his rearview, it was not. But soon the point was moot as Freedom Blvd had turned into a tin junkyard. Sport coupes, sedans, mini vans, new, old--it didn't matter. The street was slammed with cars like a traffic jam from hell. Unless Steve had a monster truck lying around, it was
Vanessa dashed over to the merchandising Mecca at full tilt, narrowly dodging the chomp-happy hordes. But getting to the gift shop was only half the battle. Having spent so many nights late nights aiding the Senator, Vanessa knew they gated up the joint after hours. It was time to close up shop.
But the zombies were onto Vanessa. They started stammering her way, all eager to make a quick snack of her. Vanessa looked up in the entryway and saw a pull down gate. She grabbed it and started to slide it down as the zombies got too close for comfort. Halfway down, the gate got stuck. Vanessa panicked, a bead of sweat dripping down her face. She got transfixed by the horde closing in, then came to her senses just in time.
Vanessa used all her energy to unjam the gate. She then pulled it down just as the zombies reached out to tear her apart. But having a gate between her and the undead wasn't enough to stop them from trying. The zombies reached their grubby paws through the gate, looking to clutch her blouse, and pull her close enough in to have a nibble of her.
Vanessa back stepped in a hurry, foisting herself as far away from the zombies as possible. That was, until she slammed into a fleshy roadblock. Feeling a presence behind her, Vanessa turned around to have her worst fears confirmed. She'd managed to lock herself into the gift shop with one of the brain eaters. The smock-wearing, pock-marked clerk lunged at Vanessa. She moved out of the way just in time, leaving the Smocked Zombie to topple a rack of "I Heart Congress" t-shirts.
Vanessa moved to the other side of the gift shop, desperately scrambling to find a weapon to bring down the monster. As the Smocked Zombie stammered towards her for a second go around, Vanessa found salvation in the form of a fire extinguisher. Vanessa ripped the extinguisher from the wall, then reamed the zombie in the face with it. The zombie dropped like a stone. Not content to rest on her laurels, Vanessa grabbed the computer monitor from on top of the cash register and broke it in half over the zombie's skull. The zombie laid lifeless on the ground while the computer monitor crackled and sparked.
Finally Vanessa was safe. But she was also trapped. With a protective gate between her and danger though, Vanessa was finally able to pick up her phone.
*********
"Baby," Vanessa said over the line, trembling like a leaf in a hurricane.
"Vanessa. Oh thank God you're alive," Steve said, breathing a sigh of relief.
"I just want you to know how much I love you. That I don't want to live without you--"
"Why are you talking like you're never going to see me again? You're not bit, are you?"
"I just want you to know you're the best thing that ever happened to me--"
"Vanessa. Stop talking like this is the end."
"Steve, I don't know how long this gate will hold those monsters off," Vanessa replied, seeing the zombie ranks swell on the other side of the gate.
"Where are you?" Steve asked, panicking.
"I'm at the Congressional gift shop. I got the security gate down, but there's a lot of zombies out there."
"Just stay there. I'm coming to get you."
"But...but Steve, that's like a death march," Vanessa said, as shocked as the Paralegals back in the break room.
"Vanessa. You're the best thing that ever happened to me too. And I'd give everything I have for one more second with you."
And like that, Steve's fate was sealed, for better or worse.
*********
All it took was a trip to the parking lot for Steve to realize saving Vanessa was much easier said than done. First, Steve needed better wheels. His jalopy was unreliable at best during his morning commute. A getaway vehicle to leave the apocalypse in his rearview, it was not. But soon the point was moot as Freedom Blvd had turned into a tin junkyard. Sport coupes, sedans, mini vans, new, old--it didn't matter. The street was slammed with cars like a traffic jam from hell. Unless Steve had a monster truck lying around, it was
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