evening.
And of course I wanted nothing more than to throw my arms around him and reassure myself that he really was out of the Netherworld and safe. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized things between Knight and me were going to have to be different from now on. I mean, I couldn't willingly continue in a relationship with him anymore, knowing I was hiding such a huge secret. I couldn't look him in the eye, while I rammed the proverbial knife in his back.
Yes, I did consider the possibility that I should just tell him what happened—how I was backed into a corner and agreed to work for my father. Well, first I'd have to tell him who my father was. And I had to imagine that in itself might jeopardize things between us, considering he hated my father. But I soon realized thinking along these lines was a waste of time anyway because of Melchior's words—that if Knight ever found out I was working for my father, it would mean the end of Knight's life. I wasn't about to take those odds. And knowing Knight, he'd fight for what was right and end up right back in the Netherworld and there wouldn't be anything I could do to help him. Nope, any way I looked at it ... this time, I was stuck.
Of one thing I was certain though, I would have to break things off with Knight but I'd also beg to be reinstated as a Regulator so I could get back into the ANC to act as the eyes and ears for Melchior. In so doing, I'd tell Knight I couldn't work for and date him at the same time—it was a conflict of interest.
I felt my heart break even as I considered the whole concept of never being intimate with Knight again, but I wouldn't allow myself to wallow in my own self pity. I 'd made my bed and I'd have lie in it. All that mattered was that Knight was no longer in High Prison, at the mercy of my father, and for now, safe. And it wasn't like I'd never see him again. Quite the opposite—we'd be working together, which meant I'd see him every day—that dazzlingly handsome smile and those gorgeous blue eyes. I'd hear his hearty chuckle and have to remind myself that no matter what happened, Knight was still alive. And that would have to be enough for me ...
I stepped out of the shower and wrapped myself in my robe, sliding my feet into my dog head slippers and padded into the living room. My stomach gurgled with hunger, but somehow I couldn't bring myself to eat. The thought was completely unappealing. Instead, I threw myself on the small sofa and didn't move for the next thirty minutes, at least. It was almost as if I was incapable of shifting position. I could have gone to retrieve my dog from an old coworker and friend, Trey (a hobgoblin who'd been watching my dog , Blue, while I was in the Netherworld). And I still had to pay a visit to Bram to let him know I was safe and sound ... At the moment, however, I couldn't bring myself to do much more than sit on my couch and zone out on the television which wasn't even turned on. Not that it mattered because there was no way I could have paid attention to anything on it . But then, thinking I was being a bad friend, I picked up my cell phone and texted my best friend, Sam. I wrote:
Hi Sam, I'm home and safe.
Let's catch up tomorrow because I'm exhausted and not in the mood to talk.
Love you, Dulce.
Thinking I should do the same for my other good friend, Dia Robinson, who worked for the ANC in the bordering province of Moon, and who se help I'd recruited while I was in the Netherworld, I pulled up her information and texted her something similar to what I'd just texted Sam.
Then I put the phone down and resumed staring at the grey of the television screen while my mind raced. I had to figure out a story for Knight. Why? Because he was too smart not to question his release as well as my own. And the worst thing I could do was go into that situation unprepared. So I forced myself to remember