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amazing how little of your past is
involved in falling in love. Really, you just float around in a
bubble of shared feelings and experiences, untethered to your
history. And the other person gets to know you without all the
baggage.
    There was less need for fibbing as we began
to build our present together, though it was still disconcerting
when he called me Christy. I hoped he’d soon find a pet name for
me. Like Annabel.
    One weekend evening, Jack scored us tickets
to The Roundhouse for an “immersive” theater experience. That
mostly involved being herded into a darkened room where actors on
wires waited in the rafters to pluck people from the audience. I
spent the whole time with Jack’s hand clasped in mine. They weren’t
going to get me without taking him too. We came as a two-for-one
offer.
    ‘Promise me something,’ he said as we found
ourselves wandering through Camden after the show.
    Was this it? Was The Talk imminent? I tucked
a flyaway lock of hair behind my ear and wished I’d reapplied
lipstick before we left The Roundhouse.
    ‘Let’s see more theater together,’ he
continued. ‘Every time I go, I wish I’d done it more. I don’t want
to have any regrets when I get old.’
    ‘Oh, right, I agree,’ I murmured. ‘Yes,
let’s see more.’
    He stopped me on the bridge over the canal.
‘Oh bollocks, that’s not what I meant to ask. I mean… I do want to
see more theater, but what I really want is to see more of you.
Officially, I mean.’ He ran his hand through his hair. ‘I’m really
quite shite at this, aren’t I? What I’m trying to say is that these
past few weeks have been incredible. I still can’t believe my luck
that you want to go out with me. So will you? Go out with me?
Officially?’
    I nodded. ‘Of course I will, Jack. I feel
exactly the same way. I’ve been so happy with you. Yes,
definitely.’
    He pulled me to him, kissing me deeply as
rain began spattering us. I didn’t care. I’d have stayed there
through a hurricane.
     
    We didn’t stay there though. We went to
Jack’s flat, which he shared with two friends. They weren’t home. I
suspect he knew that.
    It was the first time we’d been alone
together. It would be the first time for a lot of things. He kissed
me all the way to the bedroom and not even the thought of him
seeing me naked dampened my enthusiasm.
    As it turned out, seeing me naked didn’t
dampen his enthusiasm either. Later, as I lay on his chest playing
with the soft hair there, he said, ‘You’re my dream.’
    He took the words out of my mouth. And that
made me very afraid.
    It no longer seemed possible to tell Jack
the truth. Relationships are based on trust. Even with my
relatively sparse experience I knew that. So how was I supposed to
tell him now that I’d lied the night we met? I felt sick as I
realized that saying anything would mean losing him.
    ‘Hey,’ he said, softly stroking my wrist.
‘What happened to your tattoo?’
    ‘My what?’
    ‘The heart tattoo you had on your
wrist.’
    Why didn’t I remember Christy’s tattoo? ‘Oh
that. It was only temporary.’
    ‘… But you told everyone how much it hurt
when you got it. It said Amour in the middle because you
were about to leave for France.’
    I thought ahead to the life I’d build with
Jack, and knew I couldn’t keep lying. It might not matter so much
with superficial things like tattoos and oysters, but how was I
supposed to explain why my parents weren’t called Mr. and Mrs.
Blake? As frightened as I was, I had to test the waters. ‘I guess I
fibbed about that.’
    He sat up, his smile wiped away. ‘That’s not
cool, Christy. Actually that’s pretty shite. You know, others got
tattoos because you did.’
    ‘No they didn’t!’
    When he twisted around I saw the little
yellow Tweety Bird on his shoulder. ‘Yes. They did.’
    If the idea that I told a lie ten years ago
upset him like that, I couldn’t even imagine how he’d react to the
news that I wasn’t