This Savage Heart Read Online Free

breath. “You love me, Julie. I know you do. And I know you’re not a trollop. You’re a lady. If I’ve ever made you feel like less, I’m so sorry. Lord knows I taught you what it means to be a woman.” He grinned.
    “Yes, you did,” she agreed. “I won’t deny it. I love for you to make love to me. But, Derek, that’s not all there is to life. And understand one thing right now…” She glared at him. “I’m not husband-hunting. I don’t believe a woman can’t make it without a man. I’m going out west to start a new life—for myself. If somewhere along the way I fall in love with a man and he falls in love with me and we want to marry, fine. But that is not my great need in life. Can you understand that? Or are you too conceited not to think every woman wants to marry you ?”
    He smiled, slowly and infuriatingly. “Now that we understand each other so well, why don’t you move into the supply wagon and be my mistress, at least until we get to Arizona? We’ve got a lot of long, cold nights ahead of us, Julie.”
    When she remained silent, he decided to smooth over that last ill-considered remark. “At least let’s be friends,” he offered with a faint smile.
    She drew away. “Derek, I don’t think you know me at all,” she said through a veil of tears. “I’m not the same woman I was during the war years. I’m stronger now.”
    He shook his head. “No, Julie, you’re wrong. You’re weaker now. When the war started you were strong, but it left you weak. You’re afraid, afraid to be a woman…and goddamn it, I pity you more than I can say.”
    He walked away, then suddenly turned and murmured, “Your eyes really are misty now. You can’t lie about it, can you, Julie?”
    She blinked back the tears as best she could.
    A few minutes later, Thomas came ashore, waving and calling. After dismounting and turning the horses over to Derek, he rushed over to Julie. “Are you all right? Damn! You had us scared to death! A fool stunt that was! Your horses made it ashore, thank goodness, but your wagon’s gone. Myles is fit to be tied. You can bet he’ll have plenty to say to you. And poor Teresa, we thought she’d never stop crying.”
    She was sorry Teresa was upset, especially in her condition. “I didn’t want to lose my wagon,” she told Thomas feebly. “But I did. I’m sorry I caused everyone trouble.”
    “Let’s go,” Derek called. “The snow’s getting thicker. We’ve been lucky so far.”
    Julie started toward Derek, but Thomas caught her arm and drew her back to speak to her alone. He whispered hoarsely, “Julie, you know how I feel about you, how I’ve always felt. Last night, did you and Derek…?” He swallowed hard, forcing himself to ask, “Did you make up?”
    “Nothing has changed, Thomas,” she said firmly, meaning both that she and Derek had not been lovers and that there was also no chance for a love affair between her and Thomas. Thomas was a dear, and she loved her wonderful cousin and friend, but there could not be more between them.
    He nodded sadly, understanding, and said tightly, “Let’s get going. The snow is really getting bad.”
    They reached the other side easily enough, and Myles lifted Julie down from the horse. Shivering with cold she gratefully accepted the warm blanket Teresa held out to her, giving her sister-in-law a guilty look. They hurried to the camp fire, which hissed irritably against the assault of the snow. Julie nodded in silent agreement as Myles admonished her for her foolishness, interjecting apologies whenever he paused for breath. She was grateful for Teresa’s smiling presence. Julie had done what she felt she had to do. Teresa understood that.
    Others gathered around, some condemning by their stares. A wagon train, understandably, didn’t welcome unnecessary trouble. Julie appreciated that. But what was done was done. She was sorry and hoped they knew it, but it was she who had lost her wagon and supplies. Surely that was