don’t leave me, Momma. Please !”
She gave me one last look, indecision flashing in her eyes, before she spun around and walked to the car like she’d just dropped off a load of used clothes at the Goodwill. Then she drove off without a backward glance.
“What’s yer name?” my grandmother asked.
I jerked in surprise, just now realizing my mother had left me with a total stranger. “Neely . . . Kate . . .” I heaved out between sobs.
“Who’s yer daddy?”
“I . . . don’t know.” I had no idea who my father was, and Momma had never deemed it necessary to tell me.
“How old are ya?”
“Twelve.”
She gave a quick nod, her mouth pursed. “Old enough to work. Come on. We’re canning pickles today.”
My grandmother was a no-nonsense woman who made it clear she had no interest in raising another child, but she wasn’t unkind either. I had the firm impression we were both biding our time, waiting for Momma to come back and retrieve me.
We’re still waiting.
In the meantime, I met the multitude of aunts and uncles and cousins that comprised my family. Great-aunts and uncles and cousins-once-removed. I went from only having Momma to being surrounded by more family than I could count. They were curious about Jenny Lynn’s blonde-haired, blue-eyed bastard, and while they weren’t unkind, it was painfully clear I wasn’t one of them either. They were loud and boisterous and just plain wild. After being alone for so long, I struggled to get used to this new family of mine. I started to pretend to be like them, thinking if I faked it long enough, I’d finally believe it.
Grannie enrolled me in school and—other than being painfully behind in multiple subjects—I acclimated to school much better than to living with my crazy River relatives. I made friends and became popular, but I still felt like I was on the outside looking in. And even when I was a nearly a grown woman, I still looked out my window every night, asking the stars for my sister. It was stupid, I knew it, but I’d done it for so long, it seemed wrong to stop now. Besides, it was part of my routine, and if I kept my routine, maybe, just maybe, Momma would come back for me. Especially if I was a good girl.
By the time I’d graduated, my grannie and I had grown fond of each other. In fact, I was the granddaughter she went to when she needed help. And I loved her, yet something was still missing. Her love wasn’t enough.
After I was grown and had started working at a job I hated at the courthouse, I got engaged to the most wonderful man in the world—even if I knew I didn’t deserve him. He was sweet and kind, and everything I’d never dared hoped to have in a man. I couldn’t wait to get married and quit my miserable job. Then I got picked for jury duty a month before my wedding. I knew no one who worked for the courthouse would ever make a jury, but I was grateful for the few hours break from work. Never in a million years would I have guessed that that was where I’d finally meet the sister I’d been praying for my whole life.
Rose.
I think we can find all kinds of soul mates in this life. Sometimes they are our spouses, but sometimes they’re our friends. On that day, I immediately knew that Rose Gardner was mine. Both of us had family who didn’t really want us, and although I didn’t like to talk about that, even with her, it made us closer. It wasn’t long before we were best friends, just like I knew we’d be that first day she sat by me in the juror room, and I rambled on and on and on about a stupid donut.
Really, Neely Kate .
I was so nervous that she’d bolt, that she’d leave me just like my momma did. But I should have known better, because when I looked deep into Rose’s eyes, I could see she was an old soul. She wasn’t flighty like my momma. She could be trusted.
I let her in more than I’d ever let anyone in, yet I still had a haystack full of secrets.
But here I was, grieving the babies I’d