The War with Grandpa Read Online Free Page B

made me nervous.
    I sneaked upstairs when Grandpa sat down in front of the TV in the living room, which was where he was almost every night now. I went into Grandpa's room and closed the door quietly behind me. Then I looked around. On top of the dresser Grandpa had a photograph of Grandma in an old silver frame. Next to it was his hairbrush and comb. Then the door opened suddenly and I almost jumped out of my skin.
    “Hi, Pete,” Jenny said. “What are you doing?”
    “Nothing,” I said real fast. My voice was so high and squeaky, it sounded funny in my ears.
    Jenny gave me a strange look.“Did I frighten you?” she asked.
    “No, you didn't frighten me,” I lied.
    “You look funny,” she said, then shrugged. “You want to play casino? Mom and Dad are busy and Grandpa is too tired.”
    That was just like Jenny. Here I was about to start a war, and she wanted to play games.
    “No, I don't want to play casino,” I said, “or any other stupid game. Why don't you go downstairs and watch TV with Grandpa? Or read a book? Or go practice ballet? Or do anything instead of coming up here and bothering me?”
    She looked at me for a long minute.“Weird,” she said,“totally weird.” Then she walked out of the room.
    If this was how a war is, I thought, I wouldn't make a very good soldier. I took the folded note from my pocket, unfolded it, and stuck it under Grandpa's bedspread and on top of his pillow. He'd have to be blind not to see it. So he would surely read it tonight and then the war between us would start. I felt nervous about it, but not too much. Whatever was going to happen I was ready for.
    Then I went upstairs to my stinky room and threw a tennis ball against the wall about forty million times.

IT TAKES TWO SIDES TO FIGHT A WAR
    Well, it was a lot of fear and worry over nothing. Because Grandpa didn't say anything or do anything about my note. Not the next day, anyway, or the day after that.
    I didn't know what to do. Here I had declared war and written a note and my enemy totally ignored the whole thing. It looked like it was going to be the shortest war in history.
    That day and the one after I followed Grandpa around and gave him plenty of chances to talk to me when nobody else was around. I even sat through a whole afternoon with him while he watched those stupid soap operas on TV. Later I went to the candy store with him when he wanted to buy some cigars. It took forever to walk two blocks, because Grandpa just limped along so slowly.“Is there anything you want to say to me?” I asked him on the way back.
    He grinned at me. “Only that I like your company, Petey. You are very easy to be with.”
    “Isn't there something you read lately you want to talk about?” I asked. Like a note, I almost said.
    “Just the newspaper,” he said. “And there's so much bad news in it, I try not to pay too much attention.”
    I was learning something about Grandpa. He was one of the world's best ignorers. And my fight to get my room back looked like it would never even get started.

THE FIRST STRATEGY CONFERENCE
    “You are so stupid, it's amazing you can live,” Billy was saying. We were at his house, playing his game: Stratomatic Baseball. Steve and I had one team, Billy had the other. Naturally, Billy always fixed it so that he had Babe Ruth and Ty Cobb on his team. Naturally, Billy always seemed to win.
    “You don't start a war with a note,” Billy said. “You think the Japanese sent a note before they attacked Pearl Harbor? ‘Dear United States, pardon us but we are going to sink all your ships. Sorry.
    “Are you sure your grandfather got the note?” Steve asked.
    “Yes. He couldn't miss it. It was right on his pillow.”
    “Maybe it fell out when he took the bedspread off,” Steve said.
    “Then where would it go?” I said. “On thefloor, out the window? It was a big piece of paper. It didn't just fly away.”
    “You have to attack,” Billy said, “not just write a polite note. Blam! Drop