The Unorthodox Arrival of Pumpkin Allan Read Online Free

parents had lived close to the Heath in Hampstead for the past thirty-two years, in an imposing, Edwardian four-storey house. Irene, a not unattractive wisp of a woman, was always meticulously presented (unlike her daughter), remaining ‘natural’ blonde at sixty-five, full make-up always in place. Geoffrey, conversely, was huge, both in height and girth. His size, together with his full head of shocking white hair, small eyes and aquiline nose, created a somewhat intimidating-looking man.
    Lois’s father had been a barrister until his retirement three years ago, her mother an alcoholic, drinking gin in steadily increasing quantities since Lois and her younger brother James were in their teens. That is until three years ago, when the prospect of sharing his retirement with Irene in such a sorry state, had been too much for Geoffrey and, regretfully he signed her into an expensive rehab centre for a three month drying out programme. Regretful, in the first instance, because he loved her very much and had a fairish idea of how hard it would be for her, and in the second, because it didn’t seem like the way one should spend one’s money.
    Irene’s recovery, so far, had been miraculous. She’d turned to the church and the local Oxfam shop for support. She went to church on Wednesdays and Sundays and joined a variety of Bible study groups. She helped out in the Oxfam shop on Tuesdays and Thursdays, often bringing home bags full of knick-knacks to fill their oversized house. Hoarding not being a new hobby, but the habit of a lifetime.
     
    About a year ago, Lois told her parents that she and Tom planned to buy a house of their own somewhere in the Home Counties. A few weeks later she received a typically formal letter from her father, saying he would like to give them a house-warming present in the form of a contribution to the deposit on a house. The sum concerned being forty thousand pounds. His astounding generosity had opened the door to the purchase of Honeysuckle Cottage, which although it had only two bedrooms, held a high price due to it’s “rarity, charm and unparalleled location!” in the words of the estate agent.
    Lois was getting on better with her father since she had been with Tom. Geoffrey loved having a male financial expert in the family with whom he could discuss his investments. He had never felt able to do that with Lois, despite the fact that she also worked in the City. Nonetheless he seemed to have more respect for her, perhaps because she had at last developed her taste in men to meet with his approval. He didn’t even seem to mind when Lois and Tom announced that there was a baby on the way. He’d cracked open a bottle of Bollinger and sat with Tom, smoking cigars and quaffing the champagne like old buddies.
    The announcement of the pregnancy did however send Irene into temporary shock. She had sat for an hour, completely lost for words. Then said, “What a shame! I gave Lois’s nappies to the Oxfam shop just last week.” Much to Lois’s horror however, Irene did still have her original cot, bath, potty, cardigans, hats, mitten and … well, the list went on, all safely hoarded in the loft. Lois had been busy working out how to refuse all these things without offending her mother. “The cot,” she’d said to Tom after their last visit, “I’ll take the cot. Paint it; get a new mattress, that’ll be fine. The bath, maybe? I’ll say I don’t want to be greedy; I want to leave the rest for James! Cunning eh? That’ll cause some interesting “discussion” between him and his future partner!”
     
    The Monday before completing on Honeysuckle Cottage, Lois took the afternoon off work and drove to her parent’s house for lunch and to collect her father’s generous gift.  It was a stunning afternoon, so the three of them lunched in the large, perfectly manicured (by a team of gardeners), back garden. Irene had been to Waitrose that morning and bought a fantastic spread, practically