The Sportin' Life Read Online Free

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    After Kevin has acquired several crystals, some rocks — tumbled stones — for his bedside and has made a date with the blond salesgirl who if not jail bait has just graduated from that category yesterday, we head out for a drink. We sit talking and sipping our beers and what do you know but Kevin hands me a box and inside is a crystal he decided I would like. It ’ s a bird and Kevin says it reminds him of the bird in the little medical symbol, well the bird is silver like the chain, but in its claws is a clear rock, like a raw stone, and I guess it is pretty interesting, and I am impressed because I never suspected that Kevin had any real affection for anyone at all, least of all me. It almost makes me feel guilty for the way I detest the guy, but luckily I learned to deal with guilt long enough ago that now I can take it or leave it alone.
    Next stop is the athletic store where Kevin buys new running shoes. I suppose he plans to keep running around the block here in Beverly Hills , just the way he did in Brooklyn . Let me try that and you have to come bail me out of jail for vagrancy and suspicious conduct. When he does it, he ’ ll probably round the corner with a bunch of women in Nikes nipping at his heels like dogs after a kid on a bike. The salespeople in this particular shop are all male, so Kevin has no chance to enhance his social life in this scene. I didn ’ t know he was still running. He assures me that it is the absolutely best way of releasing all emotions and various form of tension that are extremely unhealthy, particularly in today ’ s tense society. I wonder if it wouldn ’ t be just as effective to deal with emotions by actually letting yourself feel them and then they ’ d pass the fuck away like a load of crap down the toilet, but I figure that someone who practically causes broken hearts for a living doesn ’ t want to hear about my feel ‘ em and flush ‘ em philosophy.
    Kevin loves my car. If he were a broad, he ’ d be creaming so much that I ’ d have to pull off the road to oil his joints, but as it were, I enjoy being on the receiving end of his envy, what with it being such a rare form of turnabout. He asks me to tell him about it and about the reactions I get because of it, which I happily oblige, even going so far as to embellish the truth a bit. I figure a guy like this with a great story for just about every night doesn ’ t impress all that easy, and I don ’ t ever find out if I am right or not because Kevin is just so affable with me that it ’ s almost easy to fall under his spell. He asks me for advice about the car he ought to get and what I really think is that he ’ d do OK with a skateboard but instead I nod in agreement when he mentions Jaguar. A guy as smooth as that is just about right in a Jag. He doesn ’ t have the kind of flash for a Ferrari and probably wants to specialize in the type of women more attracted by a Jag.
    As Kevin rambles on about settling down, my dislike for him resumes. At least I had the balls to make a commitment once, and that ’ s more than Kevin can say, no matter how much romantic talk about finding his prefect woman he spits out. At least I did get married once, and if it didn ’ t work out forever, it wasn ’ t the worst thing in the world for a little while. I was in med school then and I was so glad to find a woman who ’ d agree to fuck me on a regular basis that I was happy to marry her. She was just a secretary and delighted to be getting a future doctor, even if she was half a foot taller than me. In the sack, everybody ’ s the same size, except John Holmes, I guess. Which is what I think made her take off — some brain-dead guy with his wits between his legs, and if I was sad at first to lose her, I realized that it was at the best possible time — before I had real fucking assets to divide. Now, you can be sure that I will really know what I ’ m doing before I marry another woman because now I have