Little Lost Angel Read Online Free

lesbian love, Amanda was daily weaving a web of enticement and Shanda was slowly being drawn in. In the following letter, written on September 26, about two weeks after their first meeting, Amanda was quite open in her intentions:
Shanda,
What was wrong with you yesterday? You sounded so sad on the phone. So what’s on your mind? You wanta fuck? Na, just joking. Well, I don’t know. Last night I meant everything I said to you about making love to you. Shanda, you’re so beautiful, hot and sexy. I want you. I can’t say it enough.
    Love,    
Amanda
    The following weekend Amanda invited Shanda to spend the night with her, and Jacque, totally blind to what was going on, gave her approval. That night, in the seclusion of her bedroom, Amanda came through on her promises and made love to Shanda. Although the experience was a triumphant one for Amanda, a letter sent the following day indicates that it had been a traumatic night for Shanda:
Shanda,
I really had a great time with you last night and I’m looking forward to more. Please don’t cry anymore, OK.
    Love,    
Amanda
    If Amanda was worried that Shanda might let out their secret, she need not have been. By the next day Shanda had wiped away her tears and was ready to resume where they had left off. She was intrigued by the new feelings she was experiencing, and she told Amanda so in this note:
Amanda,
I loved last night too. I want more too and always. I want what we had last night. If you want.
    Love,   
Shanda
    In less than three weeks, Amanda had succeeded in enticing Shanda into a sexual relationship. Shanda, who had always been boy-crazy, suddenly found herself involved with another girl.
    *  *  *
    During early adolescence it’s not uncommon for males and females to experiment with homosexuality, says Judith Matheny, a clinical social worker in Louisville who specializes in adolescent sexuality.
    “It’s a time of sexploration,” Matheny says. “Same-sex encounters at that age are usually a safe environment in which to explore the new, intense feelings brought on by puberty.”
    Most early sexual experiences, especially of this sort, are hidden from others. “If people were honest in discussing this,” says Matheny, “you would probably be surprised how many have had some sort of early experience with someone of their own sex. We don’t talk about this because we live in a homophobic society.”
    This early experimentation, however, “in no way means that someone is homosexual,” Matheny stresses. “The preteen and early teen years are ones in which boys and girls are just beginning to gain a sense of their own selves and their sexual identities, and it is something that will continue to evolve.”
    Dr. Richard R. Troiden, in the book Gay and Lesbian Youth , writes that, as a general rule, lesbians report awareness of their same-sex feelings at an average age of between fourteen and sixteen, males a couple of years earlier. And in most cases a few years will pass between the time someone first perceives themselves as homosexual and when they have their first same-sex experience.
    *  *  *
    Shanda was only twelve. Still a child. After being systematically drawn into a relationship unlike any she’d ever experienced, she was ashamed and confused. Isolated from her usual confidantes—her girlfriends at St. Paul—Shanda’s emotions were in turmoil.
    During her first days at Hazelwood, before Amanda had begun monopolizing her time, Shanda had made a few other friends. But when they saw her hanging around with Amanda, they kept their distance.
    Kristie Farnsley was one of them. She had met Shanda the day before school started and they’d ridden the bus home together a few times. The two girls seemed to be hitting it off, but before they could get very close, Kristie’s brother warned her to stay away from Shanda because her friend Amanda ran with a rough crowd.
    “I didn’t really talk to Shanda too much after that,” Kristie