The Song of the Quarkbeast: Last Dragonslayer: Book Two Read Online Free

charge.’
    ‘We usually charge for an attempt—’ I began, but Mawgon cut me short.
    ‘We’re agreed,’ she said, and made a grimace that I suspect may have been her version of a smile.
    Miss Shard shook hands with us again and climbed back into her Rolls-Royce, and a few seconds later the limousine moved off to park opposite the snack bar. Class was no barrier to the allure of a bacon sandwich.
    ‘With the greatest of respect,’ I said, turning to Lady Mawgon, ‘if it gets around that we’ve been fleecing clients, Kazam’s reputation will plummet. And what’s more, I think it’s unprofessional.’
    ‘How can civilians hate us any more?’ she asked disdainfully and with some truth, as despite our best efforts, the general public still regarded the magic trade with grave suspicion. ‘More importantly,’ added Lady Mawgon, ‘I’ve seen the accounts. How long do you think we can give our skills away for free? Besides, she’s in a Phantom Eight. Loaded with moolah.’
    ‘It’s a Phantom Twelve,’ murmured Tiger, who, being a boy, knew precisely the difference.
    ‘Shall we get a move on?’ said Full Price. ‘I’ve got to move a walrus in an hour, and if I’m late David will start without me.’
    ‘The sooner the better,’ said Lady Mawgon, dismissing Tiger and me with a sweep of her hand so she and Full could have a meeting. I leaned against the car with Tiger, took several deep breaths and watched them talk.
    ‘I lost my luggage once,’ said Tiger thoughtfully, eager to contribute something relevant to the ‘losing stuff’ conversation. ‘On an orphanage trip to the steel mills of Port Talbot.’
    ‘What was it like?’ I asked, glad of the distraction and never having been to the industrial heartland of the Ununited Kingdoms myself.
    ‘Red with castors and an internal pocket for toiletries.’
    ‘I meant Port Talbot.’
    ‘Oh. Hot and very noisy.’
    ‘The steam hammers?’
    ‘The steam hammers were fine. It’s the singing .’
    We watched as Perkins circled Mawgon and Price, attempting to hear what was going on.
    ‘Is Perkins going to get his licence, do you think?’
    ‘He’d better. We need him for the bridge job. Fumble that and we’ll all look a bit stupid.’
    ‘And on live TV, too.’
    ‘Don’t remind me.’
    Our concerns about Perkins will become only too apparent when you consider that the person we had to get the licence from was the one person more boneheaded and corrupt than our glorious ruler King Snodd – his Useless Brother, who was the Minister for Infernal Affairs, the less-than-polite term used to describe the office that dealt with all things magical.
    ‘You swallowed it?’ we heard Lady Mawgon demand angrily. ‘Why in Snorff’s name would you do something like that?’
    She must have meant the ring, and since there wasn’t any real answer to this, Full Price just shrugged in a lame manner. I walked up, ready to mediate if required. Mawgon put out her hand.
    ‘Hand it over, Dennis.’
    Full Price looked annoyed, but knew better than to argue. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, then made a series of odd facial expressions and huffy-exertion noises before rolling up his sleeve. We saw the shape of the ring beneath the skin as it moved down his forearm, and as it migrated he sweated and grunted with the effort. I had seen this done several times before, the most recent to expel a bullet lodged perilously close to a patient’s spine, the result of a shooting accident.
    ‘Ah!’ said Full Price, as the ring-shaped lump moved across the top of his hand. ‘Ow, ow, OW !’
    The ring travelled down the tighter skin of his finger, rotated around his fingertip and, after a lot of swearing, he succeeded in expelling it from under his nail-bed.
    ‘That is so gross,’ said Tiger.
    ‘I agree,’ replied Perkins, ‘but it’s sort of impossible not to look, don’t you think?’
    ‘There,’ said Full Price, wiping off the ring and handing it to Mawgon.