his hands into the pockets of his robe out of habit. His fingers brushed across the metal surface of the key. He pulled his arms back up and crossed them over his chest. “And, you know, rent is due tomorrow...”
“Oh, I’ve got the money for you.” Kyle dug into his pocket with his left hand. He held his injured right arm close to his body. “How much was the water bill?”
John watched him pull out a thick wad of bills. They looked like hundreds. Hundreds of hundreds. John stared at the money. It was like something from a cartoon. Real people just didn’t wander around with thousands of dollars in loose bills crammed into their pants pockets.
Kyle counted out the rent then glanced up at John questioningly. “How much for the water?” he asked again.
“Ah, it was fifty-four bucks total, so your half...” Exactly how much money did he have there, John wondered. He couldn’t even guess. Two inches of bills, maybe three? Maybe the bulk of it was fives and ones, and Kyle was just attempting to impress him by wrapping a hundred dollar bill around them.
Kyle frowned. “I don’t have any smaller bills on me right now.”
John could feel his mouth opening slightly, preparing to form the words, “Where did you get all this cash?” Instead he said, “I think I have some twenties. Maybe I can break one of the hundreds.”
Kyle shook his head.
“Why don’t I just give you a thousand? I think that should cover my half of the rest of the bills.” Kyle dropped the money down on the table.
“A thousand.” John repeated the number just to say something. It was too much money, obviously. Even adding in Kyle’s half of the water bill, there would be a lot of money left over. Something like five hundred dollars.
That was enough to pick up a new pack and better supplies for winter camping, possibly even a GPS. Or, it could go into his Jeep repair fund. He could use a new pair of pants. If he just bought new socks, he could throw out his old ones and forget about washing them. Hell, maybe he’d actually buy something from that stupid underwear catalog.
He forced himself to stop his fantasy shopping spree. He couldn’t just take the extra money. Kyle hadn’t even seen how little he owed. Not one of the calls on the phone bill was his. The electric bill was tiny, and so was the gas. And John definitely didn’t deserve to take anything from Kyle. He’d just stuffed his mail in the garbage.
“I don’t think your half adds up to that much,” John said.
“I’d rather pay too much than too little.” Kyle shrugged, and then winced as he moved his right shoulder.
“But that’s way too much.” John glanced at the money. All the bills looked crisp and new.
“Don’t worry about it.” Kyle’s tone was disinterested. He looked at the coffee pot. Again that expression of abstract interest flickered over his features.
“I can’t just take your money,” John insisted.
“No?” Kyle looked up at him.
“No.”
“All right, then you can pay me back.” Kyle started to shrug again but then stopped himself. “Why don’t you take me out to breakfast, and we’ll call it even?”
“Breakfast? We’re talking about something close to half a grand.”
“I eat a lot. If it really bothers you, leave a big tip.” Kyle smiled, and John realized that the other man was enjoying this argument in some perverse manner.
“Okay, fine. I’ll take you out to breakfast,” John stated flatly.
Kyle broke into a grin. “Great. I’ll get my coat.” He turned and almost skipped up the stairs.
John stared after him.
Did he think he was going to get solid gold eggs? A priceless diamond omelet? He had to know that John was just going to take him to the crappy diner where he and his friends hung out. He could eat until he was sick, and it still wouldn’t add up to five hundred bucks.
This was something that some insane, Howard Hughes type did. Something befitting a knife-wielding freak who had to pay