The Nurse Read Online Free

help me, and this whole situation is really tough for her. Maybe tougher than it is for me. I can already hear the strain and worry in her voice.
    “Rachel -”
    “Aren't you going to be late for work?” I ask. “Where'd you say you were going again? The old phone exchange building? That's on the other side of town, you should get going.”
    “My bus leaves in five minutes, but the stop's almost right outside. I just... Rachel, I want you to know that I wouldn't be going out to work tonight if it wasn't vital. I love you so much, and -”
    “I get that,” I tell her. “Please, don't bore me with another of your guilt-laden apologies.” I flinch, realizing that I've been too harsh again. “I didn't mean that,” I add. “I'm sorry, I just feel absolutely fine here. I've got everything I need, and I'll still be right here in the morning when you get back. Plus...”
    Leaning across the bed, I fumble for a moment until I feel the familiar handle of my baseball bat.
    “I've got Batty, remember?”
    “And you promise you won't go exploring?”
    For some reason, those five words send a shudder through my chest and bring tears to my eyes. “No,” I reply, “I won't go exploring. You won't get back at 6am and find me at the bottom of the stairs with a broken neck.”
    I wait, and a moment later she leans closer, kissing my forehead.
    “I'm a bad mother,” she whispers.
    “No, you're not,” I tell her. “It's not your fault you have to work, and it's not your fault you have a daughter who -”
    “It's okay, Rachel.”
    “I know you blame me.”
    “Honey -”
    “It's my fault I'm blind,” I continue. “I can't blame anyone else. The accident would never have happened if -”
    Suddenly she places a finger against my lips, and I fall silent.
    “The past is the past,” she says softly, and I can hear from her tone of voice that she's close to tears. “Remember what I told you at the hospital? If you dwell on things that happened earlier, you'll end up in a bad place. Believe me, I know from experience what it's like to let regrets fester in your mind. You need to focus on the future.”
    I want to point out that I don't have much of a future, but this time – miraculously – I manage to keep my goddamn smart-ass mouth shut. I guess that's progress.
    “I'll be back at six,” she continues, kissing me again before getting to her feet. “Stay out of trouble.”
    “I'm sorry,” I tell her.
    “For what?”
    “For being a complete and utter bitch.”
    “Rachel -”
    “I know I've been a bitch to you today,” I continue, feeling close to tears. “I guess it's my way of coping, but I want you to know that I don't mean it. I'm really gonna try not to let it happen again, but if it does, you should just slap me. Okay?”
    Silence, and then she steps closer. A moment later, she kisses me on the forehead.
    “I really appreciate everything you do for me,” I add, still holding back tears. “I'll stop being ratty. I promise.”
    “Don't be so hard on yourself,” she replies, kissing the top of my head before taking a step back. “You've been through so much, Rachel.”
    “That's no excuse for being mean to you. I'm really sorry, Mum.”
    “Forget it. I don't think I even noticed, anyway.”
    “Have fun cleaning empty offices,” I mutter as I hear her heading to the door. Suddenly I want her to stay, but I know I can't put her under that kind of pressure. Instead, I need to sound brave and carefree. After all, if I fake bravery for a while, eventually I'll be brave. That's the theory I've been running with since I left the hospital, and it's worth sticking to for a while yet. “I'm gonna have a ball while you're out!” I call after her. “Really, it's me who feels sorry for you !”
    A few minutes later, once she's spent some time running around searching for all the stuff she needs, I hear the front door opening and then slamming shut, and I realize she's finally gone.
    I sit in silence, listening