The Modern Fae's Guide to Surviving Humanity Read Online Free Page B

Undermart?”
    â€œPlastic,” said Oberon gravely.
    Dan blinked. “Plastic?”
    â€œPlastic,” repeated Oberon.
    â€œPlastic,” said Dan.
    Nimh inched toward him, bending to murmur, “I’d stop saying that if I were you. He can keep repeating it all day.”
    â€œIf it delays the punishment part, so can I.” Dan focused on Oberon. “Why plastic?”
    â€œPlastic enhances our enchantments, comes in a variety of pleasant colors, and is dishwasher safe,” Oberon replied.
    â€œPlus, when people are using plastic, they’re not using as much iron,” said Nimh. “We don’t like iron much.”
    â€œI remember that from my fairy tales.” Dan turned to look at Nimh. “You really love me?”
    â€œWith all my heart.” Nimh sniffled, wiping her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m so sorry I let this happen to you.”
    â€œThis is all very sweet, but it’s interfering with his punishment.” Oberon started to raise his hands. “At least you find his smile fetching, Nimue. You’ll be able to see it each day at the front of the store.”
    â€œWait!” said Dan hurriedly. “Sir, if I may be so bold … you’re going about this all wrong. Undermart—you opened the store to spread plastic, right?”
    â€œTo spread plastic, reduce iron, and get a bulk discount on candy, yes,” said Oberon, frowning. “It’s remarkable how many M&Ms the Tuatha de Danann can consume in a weekend.”
    â€œUm … right. I’m just not going to think about that right now, and instead, I’m going to focus on you not melting my brain. Sir—my lord—Undermart does an excellent job of servicing local customers, but you could be reaching a much wider market share if you had an Internet presence.”
    Oberon’s frown deepened. “The Internet thwarts my attempts at domination. Already have the Aol denied my access twice.”
    Dan did some hasty mental gymnastics before hazarding, “AOL?”
    Oberon scowled.
    â€œRight. Right! Well, see, if you don’t fry my brain, I can help you with that. I understand AOL. Also DSL, TCP/IP, and lots of other acronyms.” Dan managed a sickly smile. “A whole new customer base is waiting for you. And a bigger audience for your, ah, magic plastic.”
    There was a long pause. Finally, slowly, Oberon said, “I’m listening.”
    â€œDan?” Nimh stepped into the employee break room, ignoring the way conversation died upon her entrance. The staff had become much more talkative since their enchantments were removed (although most of the greeters opted to be re-enchanted at the beginning of every shift, as it reduced the urge to start attacking customers). That didn’t mean they’d started liking management. Some things were beyond even magic’s reach. Still, it was a fair exchange.
    Dan wasn’t in the break room. Nor was he in the stockroom, where the poker game was entering a record fifth week (with management’s blessing), or out on the floor. She finally located him out back, sitting on the gently rotting old picnic table with a laptop open on his knees.
    â€œDan?” she asked, stepping out of the building and starting toward him.
    Dan raised his head, smiling at the way the sunlight struck glints of purple off her hair. She never bothered with the little glamours anymore when they were alone. She hadn’t since their wedding night (one which, sadly,his own parents had to miss; there were no direct flights from Wisconsin to the Isles of the Blessed). “Hey, you,” he said.
    â€œIs that Daddy’s email?” Nimh asked, boosting herself up to sit beside him.
    â€œIt was. Now it’s mostly viruses and spam. Is there any way we can convince him to let someone else access the Internet for him?”
    â€œNo,” she said, and smiled. “Shall we do something