The Life List (The List Trilogy) Read Online Free

for the first time in a long time, my eyes aren’t puffy. At first I thought I wanted to stay with my two best friends in Mexico forever. There’s nothing more soothing than wallowing in misery with the people you know and love the most. But after day three, I started to miss my job, and my job missed me, and I became anxious about coming home to see what that phone call I had with him would lead to.
    Today is my first day back to reality. It’s a rainy March day just like most of the other March days in Northern California, except the rain here is more beautiful because it’s in Danville. I adore it here. It’s clean, safe and full of people who look just like me, except with lots of money. I worked my ass off to live in Danville, but sadly for me it was short-lived. I only come back now to see my therapist.
    I’m pulling into the parking lot of my miracle worker for the last time. After three years, I still don’t know much about her except that her name is Dr. Maria, she’s divorced from a pro-baseball player, and the extra box of tissues resides behind the ugly grey couch. Over the last three years, I noticed the diplomas hanging behind her cluttered desk, but I never thought to look at where she was educated. You could say I’ve been pretty self-absorbed while I’ve been coming here.
    At first, I kept coming back to therapy because I felt like it was the right thing to do. But, Dr. Maria always managed to leave a sprinkling of reality on the table that drew me back for clarity and guidance. She knows the lies I’ve told, the hearts I’ve broken, the damage I’ve done, and the damage done to me. This woman knows every morbid detail about me, and all I know is her name. It isn’t until today, the day I’ll be saying goodbye, that I wish I knew more about her. Too late for that I guess.
    I walk into the waiting room and push the buzzer that alerts Dr. Maria of my arrival so she can wrap it up with the loon sitting on her couch. I used to hate it when that happened to me. It always seemed like just when we were getting into the real meat and potatoes of my problems, I’d hear that loud BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK sound that told me to write the check and exit immediately. Every single week we’d spend thirty minutes re-capping our last appointment before we could make any progress. Then before I knew it… BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAK!
    And people wonder why therapy takes so long!
    I give a friendly nod to Sad Frumpy Lady. She’s the other woman who’s always in the waiting room at the same time as me. In all the time I’ve been coming here, she’s never made an attempt to look nice. She wears the same old denim capri pants week after week, carries the same crochet handbag, and pays zero attention to her strands of grey hair that shine like high beams on a dark country road. I always thought she was one of those people who relishes talking about their problems all of the time yet does nothing to find a solution. And for years, I’ve silently mocked her sad, dead eyes and accused her of being a time waster. Like always, we don’t say a word to each other. We just sit in awkward silence until one of us gets invited into the back.
    Finally, the door cracks open, and I see Dr. Maria’s saintly face. I’m instantly teary eyed.
    “Oh hunny, knock it off!” Slapping me in the rear end and nudging me into her office, she continues to rattle off in her brassy Jersey accent.
    “You don’t need me anymore! You’re happy and happy people certainly shouldn’t waste their money on me!”
    “I know, I know. It’s just that I’ve been thinking so much about the last three years. Where I ended up is so different than where I thought   I wanted to be. I think I’m happy. Yeah, I’m happy… I’ll probably be okay.”
    “Oh dear Lord… Probably ?”
    “Don’t panic. I’m okay. The only thing that freaks me out now is imagining that I might have called someone else about my little problem three years ago. Do you know