email notification and go on about his sleepy way. Yet, it proved simply too tempting. Besides, he’d been waiting on the free tickets Kyle, his best friend, had promised him to the Yankees game. He had been checking his phone all damn night to no avail. On an aggravated huff, he sat up and ran his sluggish fingers along the keyboard, hoping for the guarantee of a white baseball flying midair, caught in his grip on live television. It sure would give him a reason to rejoice and not worry before wandering down Slumber Lane.
They play the Twins… Tickets can’t be that damn hard for him to get.
Yet, instead of his deepest athletic desires being granted, he was greeted with a pop-up window from a gorgeous blonde connecting on one of the many dating website profiles he’d created. His lips twisted and settled into an impish smirk as he sat back against his headboard and leisurely crossed his ankles, flexing his toes a time or two. Clicking on her photo, he read the beauty’s profile:
28, Single, and into the Nightlife. Just moved to New York from Maine. Wish to meet new people, especially tall men with big smiles and even bigger assets.
He shook his head in incredulity as he clicked through the stranger’s montage of salacious photos, growing instantly attached to one of her showcasing herself in a baseball snapback and lacey dark pink shirt. Before he could save the photo and add it to his desktop collection of ‘Hotties that wanna party’, the pretty little thing noticed he was online…
Hello…
The popup window caught him by surprise, making his heart jump a bit as his computer rang out, alerting him that the lady caller in question was on the typing prowl.
He lightly laughed and tapped his fingers against the keys.
Hello back…
What are you up to tonight? she asked, her icon picture featuring her in a heart shaped computer generated frame. The woman’s photo image stared back at him, drenched in flirtation as she sported a come hither look on her sultry face.
I was trying to get some sleep actually.
Oh, am I keeping you up?
Yeah, but maybe you’re worth my while, so don’t worry about it.
He decided to bypass the open segue into a sexual innuendo about her keeping him ‘up’ alright…
I’m a night owl. LOL , she added.
That reminds me of a good joke.
Really? What is it?
There was an atheist, night owl and dyslexic that stayed up all night arguing that there is no DOG.
…I don’t get it.
Natural blonde? he asked.
What?
Never mind…
Sean turned briefly away from his computer, gripped his forehead and sighed, resigned to the fact his budding hard-on was going to be challenged sooner rather than later.
I love your photos, and what you wrote on your profile. You’re really attractive, too. So what do you do for a living? she asked.
I work.
LOL. That’s good, but what do you do?
What does it matter?
He crossed his arms and sucked his teeth, needing a moment to pretend he was still interested in this damn conversation.
I don’t like bums.
He glared at the screen, uncrossed his arms and typed:
I don’t like gold diggers.
He was met with silence.
“I fucking hate online dating!” he swore aloud, scowling up at the ceiling. “Why do I keep doing this to myself?”
The woman didn’t close the chat box, and the silent netting continued to build and grow between them as if constructed by Charlotte’s web. This had been the story of his damn life as of late. Cute girl initiates contact. Cute girl thinks her face and pussy buy her a ticket into his pockets. Cute girl gets put on alert that Sean doesn’t shell out money to get laid. Cute girl gets her motherfucking feelings hurt.
End of discussion.
Good night. He gladly typed the two little words, wishing to not drag out the inevitable.
While she fished around for a response and definitely chatted with many men all at once to find her highest bidder, he’d decided to pull the plug on the whole sinking Titanic-like encounter.