me?â
âA better question is âWhy you?â What makes you think that youâre better than everybody else? What makes you think you can make it when nobody else can? You think youâre better than everybody else?â
âMaybe.â
âThen maybe you
are
a loser,â Timmy said.
âScrew you!â
âNo thanks, youâre not my type.â
âScrew off!â I yelled, and then I turned and started walking away.
âReal clever!â Timmy screamed. âThatâs the type of language I think of when I think of an engineer!â
I kept walking, not looking back, but I held up one hand with the middle finger raised.
âHey!â Timmy yelled. âI got just one question!â
I stopped and turned around. âYeah? What is it?â
âBobbyâs older brother got him a two-four of brew. Me and him talked about splitting it. Weâre gonna meet up behind the power plant around seven. You coming?â
I wanted to tell him to screw off again. I wanted to go back and knock that knife out of his hand and smack him across the face. I wanted to do a lot of things.
âIâll see you at seven,â I said, and then I turned and walked away.
âAnd donât be too late or thereâll just be empty bottles for you to sniff!â
I didnât answer. I just kept walking.
âHey, Jay!â Timmy screamed, and I looked back over my shoulder. âThanks for the breakfast, man!â
Â
Chapter Three
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W HEN I OPENED THE DOOR I could hear music and smell oatmeal cooking. Both were sure signs that my mother was awake and up.
âHello!â I yelled out.
âGood morning, Jay!â she answered. âCome and join me for breakfast!â
âIâve already eaten!â I said and continued up the stairs.
âHang on!â she yelled.
I stopped on the top step and she appeared at the bottom of the stairs. She was wearing a ratty old housecoat and her hair was in curlers.
âI want to talk. Come and sit with me while I eat.â
I never liked those
I want to talk
conversations. That never signalled anything good. I paused for a second, and then thumped back down the stairs.
âTake it easy!â my mother said. âI want you to come
down
the stairs, not
through
the stairs!â
âSorry.â
âThereâs enough to fix up around here without you breaking the stairs.â
âIf I broke âem, Iâd fix âem,â I said as I continued down at a more gentle pace.
She met me at the bottom with a hug. I figured I was getting too big to be hugged all the time, but it still felt good. Besides, a hug meant that whatever she wanted to talk about wasnât something Iâd done wrong.
âI know youâd fix them. I donât know what weâd do if you werenât here to do all the work that needs to be done.â
She let me go and I followed her down the hall to the kitchen. There was oatmeal bubbling away on the stove and a lit cigarette perched in an ashtray on the table.
âI thought you were quitting,â I said as I walked over and turned down the radio. Country music gave me a headache
and
indigestion.
âI did quit.â She gave a sad little smile. âI quit between each cigarette.â
âThat wasnât even funny the first time I heard it.â
âItâs not easy.â She stubbed out the cigarette in the ashtray. âThat was my last one, promise.â
âYou shouldnât make promises you canât keep,â I warned her.
âThis time is different. Iâm trying something new.â
âI thought youâd already tried everything . . . gum, nicotine patches, acupuncture.â
âHypnosis . . . Iâm going to be hypnotized.â
âYouâre joking, right?â
âNo. Thereâs a hypnotist performing in the lounge this week. Heâs really very nice,