The Fabled Fifth Graders of Aesop Elementary School Read Online Free Page B

pedaling straight home, she turned toward Vesta Street.
    She braked in front of a gloomy old Victorian.
    “It sure looks like the house of a crazy lady,” muttered Bernadette.
    At that moment the front door opened. Ms. Bozzetto stepped onto the porch in a cloud of felines—big cats, little cats, old cats, young cats, one-eyed cats, three-legged cats, striped cats, bald cats. They wove in and out of the art teacher’s ankles, purring, mewing, and nipping.
    “And that sure looks like a crazy cat lady.”
    Ms. Bozzetto waved. “Hello!” she called to Bernadette. “Have you come to adopt a cat?”
    “Huh?” said Bernadette.
    Ms. Bozzetto stomped her foot. “Isn’t that a fine howdy-do—that blasted sign has fallen over again.” Followed by the cats, she bounded into the yard, picked up the sign, and staked it back into the ground. The sign read:
    MS. BOZZETTO’S HOME FOR FORLORN AND FORGOTTEN FELINES
    Then she peered at Bernadette. “I know you!” she exclaimed. “You’re that WUSS reporter.”
    Bernadette nodded.
    “Can I help you with something?” asked Ms. Bozzetto. She bent and tickled a calico cat at her feet.
    Bernadette nodded again. “I … I … was wondering if I could ask you a few questions,” she stammered.
    The art teacher beamed. “Sure,” she said, holding open the gate. “Come on in.”
    The following Monday the fifth graders were on the air again—Melvin, Ham, Jackie, Stanford, and—
    “Students of Aesop Elementary,” said Bernadette in her most serious voice. “This reporter has uncovered evidence that a crazy woman works in our school.”
    Behind the camera, Ham groaned. “Not more rumors.”
    On camera, Bernadette said, “Her name is Ms. Bozzetto, our new art teacher, and she is crazy …” Bernadette adjusted her horn-rimmed glasses and rearranged her notes. “Crazy … about cats.”
    Behind Bernadette a picture appeared. It was of Ms. Bozzetto and Bernadette sitting on a hair-covered couch surrounded by a cloud of cats.
    Bernadette smiled into the camera. “These are just a few of the forlorn and forgotten felines saved from the mean streets by Ms. Bozzetto’s kindness and generosity. She takes them in
—all
of them—loves them, and cares for them until they are adopted by families of their own.” Bernadette paused for effect. “This reporter, for one, is heart-warmed. Aren’t you?”
       
MORAL: Don’t believe everything you hear
.

HYPERMIB… UM… HYPERMOB… UH… WEIRD BODY TRICKS
    “LOOK WHAT I CAN DO!” ERNEST exclaimed during math. He cracked all ten of his knuckles.
    “That’s nothing,” said Calvin. “Watch this!” He popped his thumbs out of joint.
    “I’ve got you both beat,” said Bernadette. She bent the fingers of her left hand all the way back until they touched her wrist.
    Mr. Jupiter put down his protractor. “Those are all excellent examples of hypermobility,” he said.
    “Hyper-huh?” said Ham.
    “Hypermobility,” translated Stanford with a superior sniff. “It means having joints that stretch farther than normal.”
    “You mean like this?” asked Ham. He bent his arm behind his back and reached up to his ear.
    “Precisely,” said Mr. Jupiter.
    “Can you do this?” asked Jackie. She touched the tip of her tongue to the tip of her nose.
    Tongues wagged, but no one could.
    “Or this?” asked Jackie. She touched the tip of her tongue to the point of her chin.
    More wagging, but still no one could.
    “Or this?” asked Jackie. She leaned forward and licked her own elbow.
    Tongues around the room came up short.
    Jackie raised her arms in victory. “The winner and fifth-grade hypermib … um … hypermob … uh … weird body tricks champion,” she cried, “Jackie Jumpbaugh!” She made the sound of a roaring crowd.
    “Big deal,” said Lenny. “Even my dog can lick his own nose.”
    “And the other end too,” added Bruce.
    The two boys woofed and panted.
    “Mongrels,” said Victoria. She stuck out